Bushchicken

I'm Not Crying.

2012-01-27T08:06:00.000-08:00

So, the cat is out of the bag...we've been house hunting. Don't get too excited though, because I really have no idea if this means we'll be able to buy a house. There are just too many variables still unsettled to know for sure. However, this is the first time we've EVER looked at houses, so things must be moving in the right direction.

Which brings me to "The One". We found the purrrrfect house. It's close to our current apartment, great schools, 4 bedrooms, massive backyard, extremely good condition, lots of curb appeal, beautiful, well-lit, great value, and on and on and on...

Only one problem. It already has an offer that looks like it will go through. So the perfect house for our family? Gone.

Sure, I could be bitter and start crying about it, but I'm too smart for that. Instead I have a plan:

Rent a house close to "The One" to run covert operations listed below.
Toilet paper the house every other weekend.
Spread honey all over the porch every Monday.
Snake Pit Tuesday.
Poison the hedges on Wednesday.
If they install security cameras, cut the electricity.
Buy snails. LOTS of snails.
Run...
Fast.

If my plan goes as anticipated, we'll be making an offer to the disgruntled owners any day.

That's right, I'm not crying about it...

In case you've never heard of Flight of the Conchords, here are a couple more of our favorites:

Jenny

Foux du FaFa

Money, It's a Gas!

2012-01-10T23:03:00.000-08:00

I read the webcomic, xkcd, faithfully. Any comic with the following warning is a-ok in my book...

Warning: this comic occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).

The author, Randall Munroe, is another entry in the fine line of geniuses-who-turned-to-cartooning-instead-of-saving-the-world. If I were half as smart as Randall, I'd be a ba-jillionaire...or I'd draw cartoons...who knows!

Anyway, every once in a while, Randall will produce a graphic that is so intricately detailed and mind-blowing that I can't stop thinking about it for a few days. This time around, he produced an infographic all about MONEY that has blown my mind for at least a month. The poster-sized image covers everything of a monetary value that you've ever wanted to compare. Everything. From $1 all the way up to the aggregate value of mankind, $2.4 quadrillion dollars.

I realize this graphic is way too small to pick up any useful knowledge, so go to the website if you have an hour to spare. You'll be amazed.

However, if you don't have an hour, below is one tidbit that I can't stop thinking about. Keep in mind that all values in the graphic are adjusted to 2011 dollars to facilitate comparisons. Each green box represents $1.

Wow. Good golly, an increase in wages of 0.5% over 42 years. I think I'll go buy me somethin' nice!

Apparently it pays to be "The Man". A 1965 CEO was making 25 times more than his production workers. I'm not sure if Randall bases CEO pay on actual hours worked, but even if you try to compensate for an assumed 8 hours per day by reassessing that CEOs work an imaginary 24 hours a day, that's still a salary of 8 times more than his laborers.

But that's 1965. Surely CEOs earn a little more in comparison to laborers in today's complex world. As the laborer wage increase was 0.5%, I'll be generous and say that a reasonable CEO wage increase would be 20 times that for the same period, which would be an increase of 10%...

I'm setting you up...

Because here's what CEO pay is like in 2007...

Try an increase of 1005%.

There is no way on earth to convince me that this disparity is ethical.

This is just one lesson from xkcd's amazing infographic. And I'm too shocked to say anything else right now.

Worth Something

2012-01-10T22:22:00.000-08:00

I'm hoping most readers are completely unaware of this post. I would hate to feel like a braggart or prideful. However, reaching some milestones (no matter how small) requires so much time and brute force that failure to acknowledge that milestone would make me feel ungrateful.

The Lovely Cynthia (TLC) and I did not come from great economic backgrounds. Malcolm Gladwell would probably write us off to the ghetto with a knowledge of our past histories. In an effort to get us away from poverty, I decided to become a first-generation college student and make every effort to receive a marketable degree. Raising a family while attending college and financing it with a part-time janitorial job almost turned out to be disastrous, but we made it through with a HUGE mound of debts; public, private, and personal (we got the trifecta!).

Because of those debts (which we will still be paying over the next 9.5 years) we will never have the same financial opportunities as our peers...ever. However, it certainly beats the alternative of not earning a degree.

So, the milestone...for the first time in our 10 years together, our net worth is greater than zero. Meaning, if we were to liquidate all our assets (at book value) and pay off all our debts, we'd have enough left over to buy a cappuccino or two. I know that may seem paltry, but I've been praying for and working toward this for years...it brings tears to my eyes to finally be in this position. I can finally feel like I'm worth something...

...on paper, that is.

Best of Year Album

2011-12-31T01:06:00.001-08:00

One last item of blog business before the year is up: our annual Best of Year album! Our definition of 'best' is admittedly vague; the album contains our best shots, stories we wanted to tell, events to remember, pictures that strike an emotional chord, etc (and you're left to guess for what reason the pic is included!). It's basically the closest thing we do to a year in review. As in previous years, every shot is in chronological order, so it's like watching our entire year in fast forward.

When I think back on 2011, the one word that comes to mind (unfortunately) is craptacular. But, as I look at the 81 pics (a new record) in this album, I realize how many happy and wondrous moments there were too. Perhaps 2012 will be better, perhaps it will suck even more, but I know that there will inevitably be similar unforgettable memories that make the trip worthwhile. May the next year be full of rewarding moments for you and yours.

Happy New Year!

Annual Family Photomosaic

2011-12-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

Regular readers of this blog may have seen this next post coming. Anytime we take family pictures, there's always a photomosaic follow-up. The library of images used in the mosaic is our total collection of family pictures, now up to 23,124 images from our nine years of marriage. This photomosaic was made of 10,000 tiles at 1200 dpi, with 20% recolor.

For full effect, make sure you expand the image.

A few interesting tidbits:

We've never had a family pic with so many dark shades before (as we're usually in casual dress), so I was really curious what images would be used for the suits...turns out we're mostly made of jack-o-lanterns.
My shiny bald head contains lots of Easter egg pics, which proves that I'm an egghead. Zing!
There are probably more tiles of Davis than anyone else (most of the brown background is Davis). Either we're shutter happy or every single picture we take of him happens to be in a semi-dark environment.

If this is your first time seeing one of our photomosaics and you'd like to try one yourself, head over to AndreaMosaic.

Family Pictures

2011-12-27T20:42:00.000-08:00

Here are the best pics from our photo session on Dec. 17th, 2011. These are Davis' first professional pictures, so he was somewhat bewildered by the whole process.

Christmas Newsletter, An Apology

2011-12-23T23:30:00.000-08:00

Nothing about our Christmas newsletter was easy this year.

Just ten days ago I had no idea that we were going to produce a newsletter this year. TLC said we needed to write about such a banner year, so I got to work. Seven days ago we posed for family pics. Three days ago I picked up the pics (and we didn't order nearly enough), purchased the stationary (which doesn't match), and stuffed the envelopes (which are business-style because the stationary envelopes were the wrong size). I feel like I almost had to use duct tape to make it all work.

Two-thirds were sent out two days ago and should arrive in time for Christmas, but the other third was just mailed today...so Happy New Year. I stayed up past midnight twice during a workweek in an attempt to send these off. Next year, my goal is to have everything finished by December 10th...there...I made my first resolution for 2012.

So in light of not having enough to send to everyone, having mismatching items, bad envelopes, etc...I'm sorry this isn't the highest quality newsletter ever. But dang...I am ecstatic that I was even able to pull it off!

Here are the photo and newsletter for those that haven't seen it yet. Merry Christmas!

I did like our family pics this year; except that Davis would not smile at all. His dimples would have completed that funny picture of the three boys.

Note that the top margin is cut off in this pdf. Geez, this really was a tough year for the newsletter. Next year things will be better...right?

Video Regret

2011-12-18T16:06:00.000-08:00

When we were married in 2002, my dad gave us this:

Strange how it seemed like such an impressive camcorder at the time but now it's like an ancient relic from some lost civilization.

I tried to use that camcorder as much as possible, but I was never quite sure how to watch the miniDV tapes on my TV or transfer a decent copy to my computer. As a result, I recorded a mere 50 total minutes by May 2006 when I stopped using the camcorder for good.

Now, there's no real excuse for this next part. I'm the geek who builds my own computers with massive RAID5s, roots phones for fun, and spends way too much time tinkering in general. Yet, I made several failed attempts to pull analog video from this $*@& camcorder! Well, this week I had an epiphany...it's a DIGITAL camcorder...all I had to do was buy a $3 Firewire cable, plug it into my computer, and the computer organized everything automatically.

So, I finally have videos that we took at the beginning of our marriage...

Don't feel a need to watch the whole thing...it's just newlyweds playing with a new camera on Halloween.

If you look closely at the first second of the video, you'll see an image of TLC at the kitchen sink and then some digital artifact stuff...that shows the extent of my ignorance with the digicam - I was trying to record over video like I would with analog - doesn't work too well on a digicam.

So, the REAL regret is that when I stopped using the digicam in 2006, the only option I had to take videos was our crappy 3 megapixel camera. So, our baby videos of Carter are of substantially poorer quality than Jordan's. I made this video to give a comparison...

I really wish I could have a do-over. Carter was the cutest little kid a parent could hope for...and the video quality sucks. *sigh* Live and learn, I suppose.

One more BONUS video...I found this on the digicam. I completely forgot about this event until this week...

My grandma used to dance with all of us kids and sing The Muffin Man. I asked her to do the same for Jordan and I got it on tape. I really miss her...especially at Christmas time.

Mega Post!

2011-12-15T22:29:00.000-08:00

Folks, I've been busy. The amount of responsibility in keeping a family of five afloat and ahappy (creative wordsmithing) is kickin' my derriere. There are many things I'd like to post about, but this particular post has been in the queue for a while, so I'll post for the sake of posting and be back here soon... Promise.

I dunno what it is about Whole Foods, but my kids will eat anything we buy there. Edam cheese, naan bread, baby spinach, spirulina shakes, and most surprisingly...KEFIR! Here Jordan is suckin' down another serving of kefir. I honestly don't have the palette for it, but the boys can't live without it. Bless you, Whole Foods.

Here a Bald Eagle sits on his perch LIKE A BOSS! I believe this is the first time I've ever seen a Bald Eagle. Any guesses where it was? I snapped this shot from my living room window. My back yard is awesome.

I've never been a fan of bathtub photos, but my wife is. As long as the bubbles are strategically located, I *think* it's fine. TLC thought Davis looked like an old man with that bubble beard.

I still gush to everyone about how beautiful a Wisconsin Autumn is, but...apparently it doesn't hold a monopoly on Fall beauty. By the way, most of those trees are also visible from my living room window.

We've been doing tons of projects at Lowe's on Saturdays. This is a sampling of what we've built since October. The boys are currently working on a three-part Christmas train. This works really well because TLC loves to craft/paint so the boys get customized projects by the time we're done.

We used to attend the kids' workshops at Home Depot, but the Lowe's version is far superior. Plus they give you badges (instead of pins) at Lowe's so it feels more like a scouting event.

Ahh..Thanksgiving. We had a great time at home and invited some friends in our apartment complex. This was their first truly American Thanksgiving, so the most enjoyable part of the evening was witnessing their reactions to everything.

FYI, I also learned that obtaining a FRESH turkey in Portland is much more difficult than in Wisconsin due to greater demand. I must plan ahead next year.

Carter is just a cutey. Kindergarten is such a fun time. I love the goodies he comes home with.

Halloween 2011

2011-11-06T21:56:00.000-08:00

The boys snagged 8.5 pounds of candy over the course of two hours of trick or treating this year. I don't know why that's important; I just feel the need to maximize our returns. Occupational hazard, I suppose.

Give me candy, you will!

This is what you get when geeks reproduce. Cynthia wanted to dress him up as a spider. I am SO glad I won the argument!

Jordan opted for two costumes at the same time: A monster (a hat and a tail) and a vampire bat (trash bag cape). Whatever gets you candy works, I guess.

Carter was a monkey (a hat and tail). Cynthia is very glad that the boys chose minimalist costumes this year.

Pumpkin Potpourri

2011-10-30T22:16:00.000-07:00

We had so many comments on our car decorations (above) at the ward 'Trunk-or-Treat', that I figured I might as well show the pumpkins off a bit on the blog this year. Carving a pumpkin is probably my favorite part of Halloween, so we try to put in as much effort as possible. This year was the best yet.

Sadly, our boys weren't as interested in carving this year. Jordan cut two tiny eyes out of one and let Mommy do the rest. Carter picked a pattern and then made me carve all of it. Davis shouted in frustration that the pumpkin wouldn't fit in his mouth.

TLC and I have been using stencils to create pumpkins since we were hitched, but our selection was usually limited to whatever we could find at the grocery store. This year we used ZombiePumpkins, and a world of options was opened. I chose Edgar Allan Poe, because I love his works and he's just darn creepy on a pumpkin! It's probably the most detailed carving I've ever done, but it still only took about 90 minutes, and it's well worth the result, methinks.

For 2003, Cynthia carved the name of our newborn, Jordan, into the mouth of a pumpkin. For the sake of equal parental treatment, all three boys have had a pumpkin like this. (Not that they care at this age...) The lid is always intentionally placed on incorrectly to give a scarecrow-ish appearance. Funny how family traditions spontaneously occur.

This is TLC's creation. I wasn't sold on the idea of an owl, but man...this bird looks menacing when lit up! This stencil is also from ZombiePumpkins. It almost makes me sick that she can make such perfect tips and edges.

This is the pumpkin that Carter picked out and then had me carve. Not gonna lie, I kinda phoned this one in. Doesn't quite have the same amount of polish as the other pumpkins. But it's still pretty cool.

Reason I'm a Bad Father, #58

2011-10-23T22:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received an interesting phone call:

Peter: Hello?
Dan: Hey, it's Dan! What are you doing?
Peter: Oh, just cleaning. You?
Dan: I'm driving home from a Halloween party. Hey, would it be alright if I come over and scare your kids? I'm dressed as a zombie.
Peter: I think they'll survive. (giggles)
Dan: Ok, I'll be over in a few minutes!

A good father might have said no. Or would have given the boys an advance notice. Me? I grabbed my camera...

Baptism

2011-10-09T20:32:00.000-07:00

Look at that handsome, confident kid. I have a seriously good boy in Jordan. He was baptized and confirmed yesterday, and I couldn't be more proud of him.

The whole meeting was very sweet and filled with the spirit. Jordan summed up the whole experience in his journal by saying "This was the best day ever."

We told Jordan he could choose anywhere he wanted to go for dinner, so naturally he chose Subway. Hmm...I kind of thought a restaurant would be better. We were able to talk him up to Denny's because of their pancakes, and I figured that was the best he'd agree on. While there, we presented him with a beautiful set of green scriptures. He has been anxiously pouring through them today. So cute.

I have baptized somewhere around 30 people, but yesterday was just completely different. Almost surreal. I was nervous, excited, worried, surprised that he could already be eight, etc. While getting changed into our white baptismal clothes, I just kept thinking about how small Jordan used to be.

It was one of those times were you realize how far your kids have come and how many people shape them into who they are. So to all of you out there that have helped Jordan become the awesome kid he is today, thank you.

Jordan's 8th Birthday

2011-10-09T19:56:00.000-07:00

Turning 8 is a BIG deal. A birthday party, joining cub scouts, being baptized, etc. It has very much felt like a coming-of-age story for Jordan the past few weeks. The festivities kicked off with Jordan's birthday party. We ate pizza, played kickball, threw water balloons, let the kids play with Nerf guns and light sabers, etc. But I'm sure the kids will only remember one thing...

THE PINATA!!!

Seriously, what is it about pinatas that kids love so much? Our pinata experience was, sadly, quite short. The pinata was fastened on a nail. After just two hits, the nail failed and the pinata fell on the ground. Jordan, seizing the moment, raised the bat above his head in a rage and whacked the snot out of the pinata while it was on the ground...and then it was no more. Oops. I can still picture the moment in slow motion... "Noooooo!!! Squish!"

After taking out the candy, I hoisted up the head and let the rest of the kids take whacks at it, and they still had fun hitting it. Even without candy.

Lamb's Thriftway makes delicious birthday cakes, in case you're wondering. The chocolate raspberry cake we had was decadent. I tried to light all of the candles at least four times on that cake, but Jordan kept blowing them out before I had a chance. Hope he still gets his wish. Happy birthday, Jordan!

Yaquina Head

2011-10-09T19:35:00.000-07:00

This is the last post of our summer vacation - I promise! Maybe it's just me, but it seems like our summer was just too full this year. The last little destination I wanted to write about was the Yaquina Head lighthouse in Newport, OR.

We actually went to the lighthouse twice during the summer, and still don't have a good picture (camera problems the first trip, low visibility the second trip - plenty of pics at Wikipedia, if you're interested). It's a wonderful 160-year-old lighthouse dropping off to cliffs on three sides. Very picturesque, but I'm glad I never had to live there!

One of the locations on the tour was the oil room, which stores 400 gallons of oil. The oil used to be carried up the stairs in two gallons pitchers like the one Jordan is holding above. The pitcher is weighted to show how much that much oil would weigh...Jordan's reaction is real (I think it's 30 pounds).

The last part of the tour was climbing up the spiral staircase. For a minute or two, it felt like I was in Hitchcock's Vertigo. The boys climbed it with ease and proudly displayed their "I climbed Yaquina Head Lighthouse" buttons. I'm sure the view would be great from the top...but I only saw fog. Boo.

One of the most interesting parts about the lighthouse is that there are large rocks just a few hundred feet out in the ocean that are completely filled with thousands of birds. We saw puffins, pelicans, penguins, etc. The largest rock is called Migration Rock.

Unfortunately, this picture doesn't come close to showing how many birds there were. Apparently there was an unprecedented decline in the bird population just two days before we went to the lighthouse for the second time. It was such a dramatic and unforeseen change, that there were observers from the local University while we were there. There is still one way to tell how many birds are USUALLY there - let's just say that the rock is not natively white.

First Day of School

2011-10-09T19:02:00.000-07:00

Another year at McKay Elementary. Jordan and Carter started class on 9/6 and, for the first time, they are in the same school. It's surprising how different it is to get two kids to school in the morning instead of just one. The boys are slightly more cooperative, but there's twice as much to do and Mommy is usually busy feeding a third boy. We still haven't quite figured out the school lunches routine, but I think we're getting closer.

Jordan is now a second-grader. I think he missed school this summer, partly from boredom and partly because we made him do schoolwork during the summer anyway. He has a great teacher this year and she seems rather impressed with Jordan - he always seems to come home with a 'Wonderwolf' which is an instant recognition paper the teachers can give out.

Carter is a Kindergartner! I wish I could show you how excited he was to start riding the bus for the first time. He'd watch the bus roll up the street and start breathing faster because of the anticipation. Carter also has a large display of Wonderwolf papers strewn on our fridge. As I was writing this post, he was sounding out some of the words - he never did that before Kindergarten started. How exciting to see his progress!

Behold, the Power of Cheese

2011-09-21T22:53:00.000-07:00

Why

Cheese

Exciting?!

Five Films, Again

2011-09-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

I posted Five Films way back in April 2009. The basic premise was a listing of five films that TLC and I had recently watched for the first time and, despite our very different opinions, we agreed on how to rank those films on a 5-star basis. The post was somewhat controversial with some of our friends, especially giving Doubt 5 stars and Moonstruck 3 stars. So here's another brick in the wall of controversy.

All About Eve -

I may never say something like this again...it took me three sittings to get through the full 138 minutes of All About Eve, and I'm still giving it 5 stars. I guess I've just been really sleepy lately. This movie is still fresh and current 61 years after it won Best Picture. There's a reason it's one of only two films to ever get 14 Oscar nods or the only film to ever receive four female acting nods; it's that well done. This film is so iconic that a fictitious stage-acting award in the movie later became a real-life award. I'm not exactly sure what makes the film so good - it just clicks. Aside from falling asleep twice, I was riveted by the web spun by Eve. If I ever write a list of Top Ten All-Time Films, this would make the cut.

Wit -

Can we all agree up front that Emma Thompson is perfect in anything she does? No exception here. "Wit" is the film adaptation of the Pulitzer Prize winning play "W;t" (the semicolon is intentional). Basic story is that a tough college professor of 17th century metaphysical poets is diagnosed and treated for stage IV ovarian cancer. You watch her introspection as she relives the consequences of her life of 'no mercy', remembers a life in love with the beauty of words, and deals with a terminal condition. A very poignant film, but I doubt I'll ever watch it again - it's an exhausting movie. Cancer is no picnic, and the film doesn't present it as such. Hauntingly beautiful.

Extraordinary Measures -

Not a bad story (inspired by a true story), not a bad cast, and definitely not a bad location. We principally watched this film because it was filmed in the Portland area. The filming seems to have taken place only on the ten or so sunny days of the year. I may rent this again in February to remember what the city looks like behind all the clouds. The major problem with the film may just be character development. You just don't ever get attached to any of the characters so it's hard to empathize with their struggles.

My Date With Drew -

Man loses job. Man decides to fill time by trying to get a date with a certain actress. Man films it all cheaply and releases a movie. I think TLC picked this film up at the library just because I can't stand Drew Barrymore. I'm sure she's a nice enough person, but if she opened an acting school, it would teach nothing but vigorously shaking one's head side-to-side and trying to sound dramatic while speaking with pursed lips and a semi-lisp. The seventh circle of hell plays "Ever After" over, and over, and over again. No offense to anyone who likes that Kewpie Doll known as Drew; this is all just personal preference.

I digress... so frankly, this film sucks. We watched it in fast forward mode. The only saving grace? He gets the date and it's in the movie. Fortunately, Drew is herself in the movie and not acting as someone else.

Nights in Rodanthe -

Alright, so we knew this one was bad going in. I wanted to watch it ever since Stephen Colbert mocked it (watch here). I am just shocked that people actually pay money for Nicholas Sparks to write romances; it would make sense if he were making campy comedies though. "Nights in Rodanthe", "The Notebook", "Dear John"....laughably bad. Those films are just waiting for the RiffTrax treatment. Skip the box of kleenex, bring a barf bag instead.

"Oh, those horses! They're like her heart! So wild, so free!" - Stephen Colbert

Disagree/agree with the reviews? Sound off in the comments section.

Cannon Beach

2011-09-12T21:42:00.000-07:00

Jordan decided that we should go to Tillamook during our last summer weekend. As we'd already been to Tillamook, TLC decided that we should also pass by Haystack Rock at Cannon Beach to try something new.

And here it is...picturesque Haystack Rock. Wikipedia tells me that Haystack Rock is the third tallest intertidal structure in the world...no idea what the first two are. Wiki also tells me that the rock is in the movies The Goonies, Kindergarten Cop, and 1941. I think this was the only time we've been to the coast when there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I couldn't ask for a better day.

Carter is finally getting over his fear of the ocean and I think it's largely due to that blue shovel he's holding. He would play in the water for hours with that thing.

Pretty waves, no?

We also found a jellyfish on the beach! Prodding it with just flip-flops on made me a bit nervous. I still remember the horror story my Mom told me of when she was stung by a jelly.

This has to be the happiest I've seen TLC at the beach. It was a great, great day. I admit though that Davis didn't have a grand time. I stuck his feet in the ocean for the very first time and he was NOT pleased.

Tide Pool

2011-09-11T23:18:00.000-07:00

After a few failed attempts, the stars finally aligned and we made it to the beach early enough to experience low tide. Crabs, cucumbers, starfish, sea caves, snails, etc. We had a ball.

How to Annoy TLC During Summer Vacation

2011-08-28T22:02:00.000-07:00

This is the time of year that kids bemoan the start of school and full-time Moms shout for joy. I doubt any mother will celebrate as much as The Lovely Cynthia (TLC). Having a newborn the entire summer, and trying to entertain two rambunctious boys has proven to be too difficult.

The boys' solution for all the extra downtime...video games! The boys (and I) have enjoyed bonding through a number of games on the Wii and computer throughout the summer months. Only one problem: TLC hates video games. So this list shows the games that have ticked off Mommy the most.

Angry Birds

Die, pigs, DIE!!! Most have this one on their phones, we have it on the PC. We got this just about a month ago, and I'm sure it will take a while to get through the 900 or so levels. We paid 5 bucks, and have probably spent 30 combined hours on it.

Kirby's Epic Yarn

This game is undeniably cute. Everything is drawn in a way to look like textiles; every level is like a work of art. Kirby's typical vacuum abilities are replaced by the ability to transform into various vehicles and it's a refreshing change. I was slightly disappointed that the game is solidly aimed at kids, but the boys LOVE it. We bought it for $25, and the boys have probably spent a combined 100+ hours. Kirby has replaced Scooby-Doo as the most played Wii game.

Tinker

Tinker is a simple puzzle game with great classic visuals and soundtrack. A tiny robot overcomes a variety of obstacles to reach a goal with a limited number of moves. I've liked this game because the boys really test their problem solving skills. Sometimes the boys come up with the solutions before I do. We got this game from the Xbox Marketplace (previously Games for Windows Marketplace) for the low, low cost of $0, and have so far spent about 18 combined hours.

Viva Pinata

This game is the inspiration for this list, principally because IT NEVER ENDS! I can't tell you how many arguments TLC has had with 'the men' over this game. It's an open-ended game where you build gardens full of candy-filled-anthropomorphic-animal pinatas. As the game involves 'romancing' pinatas to produce babies, the boys have had fun educating us on the birds and bees. All the pinatas are named after candy so a bee is called a Buzzlegum, a lion is a Roario, a bat is a Sherbat, etc. This is the first game that I've gotten all the achievements on because...well...it's fun! We bought it for $1 on the Xbox Marketplace, and have probably spent 150 combined hours.

Civilization V

Civilization is one of my weaknesses in life. I have owned all five and have wasted many an hour on them all. I still remember one summer that I was playing Civ II; I played until 2am one night when I passed out and then woke up at 6am and immediately resumed play. I'm not that bad anymore, but geez, I love this game. Civ V is greatly streamlined over its predecessors, which works well for me because I don't like all that micromanaging anyway. I do miss a few elements of Civ IV, but this is by far my favorite in the series. Cost was $40, Steam tells me I've played 61 hours. (To my credit, most of that time was when the family was away last summer)

Brexton and Davis

2011-08-21T19:59:00.000-07:00

Davis is two months old now. I guess I should start posting some pics of him, especially because I've had requests for more baby pics.

We have had a very busy summer 'round these parts. We have had visits from Gpa & Gma, Craig & Terrisa, and Mark & Celeste. At one point we had 12 people sleeping in our 2-bedroom apartment. Yowza. We all really enjoyed seeing so many relatives...it's a rare treat that won't happen again for quite some time.

One cousin in particular, Brexton, seemed to be ecstatic to meet baby Davis.

There they are together. Brexton (who is just under 2 years old) was all about giving "hugs" to Davis. I say "hugs" because Brexton would just put his hands on Davis' shoulders and call it good. Any time Davis cried and someone picked him up, Brexton would hold both of his arms up to Davis in an attempt to give a comforting hug; it was pretty cute. Brexton will be getting a baby sister in January - I'm sure he'll be a good big bro.

Kids Say the Darndest Things, Part IV

2011-08-14T21:13:00.000-07:00

Whenever we collect 12 or more sidebar quotes from the boys, the oldest ten are archived into a post. You can find the previous editions in the following links: Part I Part II Part III

Carter - "I'm rich with cookies!"

Carter is always thinking about money and wealth. It's kind of bizarre. We made a batch of chocolate chip cookies and this was his way of saying that we had a lot of cookies.

Carter - "My watch isn't water-proof; it's dry-proof."
I love the way kids think in terms of opposites.

Jordan - "What if meat was meant to make strong buildings?"
Jordan is a little philosopher. 'What if' is one of his favorite games. I really wonder where he was going with this one though. Doesn't sounds very pleasant...Carrion Tower?

Jordan - "Mommy, sometimes I'm having such a good day that I like to think about my life and how special it is."
I think this quote is an older one - maybe as old as two years ago. But it made us happy enough to write it down on a sheet of paper in our car when it happened...and here it is.

Carter - "If we have a kid I would name him 'Plain Jane' "
Jordan and Carter had lots of opinions on naming Davis. Jordan HATED the name Davis for a while. Carter wanted to name him "Carter". When we shot that down, Plain Jane was his next choice. This was before we knew that we were having a boy; when Carter says 'kid', he means a boy. Heaven knows what his choice was for a girl.

Jordan - "Did you know if you eat a real eyeball it would be pretty gross?"
Jordan the philosopher, again. He'll usually say a statement like this and then open his eyes really wide while nodding up and down, as if to say, "I know exactly what I'm talking about!"

Jordan - "The caterpillars will turn into raccoons!"
Hmm...Biology 101, according to a first-grader. I'm sure he meant cocoon, but it was still perplexing.

Jordan - "Eeek! He rains toys and stuff."
Carter and Jordan were playing. Carter filled his pants and shirt with small toys. He then walked over to Jordan and opened his shirt and pants to make everything fall out. This was Jordan's honest (and slightly stunned) reaction.

Carter - "Marshmallow power is REAL!"
Every little boy believes he has super powers. Apparently Carter acquires them when he eats Lucky Charms.

Daddy - "Do you want chicken or gnocchi for dinner?" Carter - "What's chicken?"
We've probably had more positive responses to this quote than any other. What's really strange about this exchange is that Carter doesn't like gnocchi and chicken nuggets are his favorite! It was just one of those funny 'brain fail' moments that will never be duplicated. Also, how many 5-year-old boys know what gnocchi is? Good eats at the Hedgecock's.

Niner, Niner

2011-08-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to get the distinct impression that Cyn and I are starting to age. We marked our ninth anniversary last week (hooray, us!). It doesn't seem that long ago that we met...unless you compare the pictures...

August 2002

August 2011

I know that second picture isn't very formal, but we (for whatever reason) don't have very many pictures of just the two of us. Carter took this one, and I'm honestly surprised at how well it turned out. I think we showed more of our natural personalities for the pic because we didn't think the pic would turn out.

We had family over during our anniversary and our initial plan of seeing Les Miserables was unreasonable because of Davis so it was hard to celebrate this year. However, when I came home from work, Cynthia had a cute little dinner set up for us on the balcony. There are nine tea lights on the ledge, one for each year. The idea was to have a private dinner, but Jordan and Carter were intent on foiling that plan. Still, it was a nice family dinner.

For the record, I made a wonderful choice nine years ago. I can't imagine a better lady to happily work through life with. I am deeply in love with her and grateful for the happiness she brings to all around her.

Memorable 4th - Lost at Lost Lake

2011-08-14T17:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, this entry is about the fourth of July; I am that far behind.

Be careful what you wish for; it's a true statement. And after our Fourth of July this year, I doubt TLC (The Lovely Cynthia) will ever pray for a 'memorable day' ever again.

TLC's parents were still in town to enjoy Independence Day with us. We lit our fireworks on the 2nd, so we had the entire day to do what we wanted. My Mother-in-Law wanted to go to Mt Hood as it was the last tourist location to mark off on her Oregon list. We decided to find Lost Lake as we'd never been there before and we'd heard that it was a nice spot. Before leaving, TLC said a quick prayer that we would have a memorable trip. Oops.

First mistake: not buying a GPS. Instead, I was burying my head in the Google Maps printouts trying to figure out where my next turn was. This took my attention away from the speedometer, which apparently showed 68...in a 45 zone. The ticket was $400, which I tried to get reduced, but couldn't because it was in a Safety Corridor which Oregon law is very strict about. That's two tickets within 6 months; both of which could have been prevented if I had owned a stupid GPS. Guess what I want for Christmas?

Second mistake: approaching Lost Lake (which is on the North side of Mt Hood) from the West side. We had to go though back roads in the forest to get to the lake and we were never quite sure if we were on the correct road. I think we traveled for 12 miles on unpaved and unmarked roads. We were probably lost, but we had to keep pressing on. You could feel the tension in the car. Everyone was doubting whether I'd get them to the destination safely - especially after the speeding ticket I just got.

We did eventually get to Lost Lake though. It was much later in the day than we planned, but we made the best of it.

Jordan and Carter went fishing,

we walked around with the family,

and took some photos of the view.

Third mistake: not bringing instructions for the drive back home. We thought it would be pretty easy, but as we didn't come in from the North side, we didn't know which roads to take. So, naturally, we got lost AGAIN. I'm pretty sure this is why the lake is named Lost.

This is the video we took when we were lost the second time. It's not extremely interesting, but it does show the kinds of scary roads we were lost on.

One bright spot though was that we got to see Mt Adams for the first time. What a beautiful place we live in.

Tooth Fairy Knocks Twice

2011-08-07T21:45:00.000-07:00

Carter lost his first tooth. I can't tell you how excited he has been for this day. Ever since he saw a certain episode of Tiny Toons where Dizzy gets cash for a tooth, he has realized that losing teeth can be a lucrative source of revenue. I think he secretly wishes that every tooth would fall out today; Carter is extremely financially minded and would do almost anything to gain the filthy lucre.

I made a big mistake this time. In our home, we have to "call" the Tooth Fairy on the phone and 'schedule a delivery' to appease the boys (it's a long story). I "called" the Tooth Fairy but then I FORGOT TO DELIVER! Carter was absolutely distraught the next day. I must do better next time.

Well, that makes two boys actively losing teeth. Those orthodontia bills are so close it scares me.

Money, money, money, moneeeeeyyy! MONAAAA-aay!

Ma

2011-08-07T15:33:00.000-07:00

This is my paternal grandmother, Cinda Lenore Hedgecock, or "Ma" as I grew up calling her. She passed away July 11th, and I miss her. I haven't seen her in many years and I regret not having a chance to show her my young family again.

In 18 months I have lost both my grandmothers and I took Ma's passing especially hard. Two notes to all you readers out there: Facebook is a terrible way to spread news of someone's passing, and ALWAYS have a funeral to provide closure for loved ones.

My favorite memories of Ma are all times when we had one on one time; a day birdwatching together, a long chat over the phone when I was 16, the many times she pointed out my good qualities, etc. Though the distance in miles was great between us for most of my life, I know she cared about me and my development. I guess that's why grandmas are so wonderful.

I wish I had a chance to pay my respects to her. But this post will have to do. When I heard the news, I went home early and picked up peaches, Oreos, and Fig Newtons - all items that remind me of Ma. We ate them together as I shared stories to the boys of their great-grandmother.

Cookie Perfection

2011-07-17T15:53:00.000-07:00

Last November, I posted about the magical properties of brining a Thanksgiving turkey. The post began like this:

If there were one culinary lesson I could teach the world, it would be "how to bake a cookie". Most people have made cookies before, but very few have done it correctly. But if there were a SECOND culinary lesson I could teach the world, it would be "how to brine a Thanksgiving turkey".

Well, grab your spatulas...today's the day I teach the world to bake a superior chocolate chip cookie. One thing you've got to realize about me though, is that I love cooking, physics, and I'm a complete nerd. Nathan Myrvold's new book would be in my collection if I had the funds. So, this may be more in-depth than your average cookie recipe. In fact, I won't even be giving you a recipe in this post. The techniques of cookie baking are universal.

When I think of a well-made cookie, I think of structure. But not just any structure, a cookie is kind of like this:

Nobody sneeze.

You see, baking a cookie is a complex exercise of creating and preserving structure in a volatile substance. For a cookie, those substances are air and butter.

I am happiness.

Creaming butter, sugar, and one egg together to make a house of cards isn't easy unless you've been taught how, so various cookie recipes try to compensate for this lack of knowledge by incorporating the cardinal sin of cookie baking: shortening. Every time a cookie is made with shortening, a kitty dies. Think of the kitties.

I don't have a problem with shortening - it is fantastic in shortening gluten strands for things like biscuits. But cookies are about structure; you don't want to reduce structure by shortening gluten strands in the flour! Plus, cookies made with shortening taste terrible. I won't eat them.

The other cardinal sin of baking a cookie is leaving the mixer on too long. If your mixer is on for more than 5 minutes total, you're breaking down structure. A related note, scraper beaters won't work on cookies because they don't allow the butter and sugar to cream properly.

So, how is the house of cards made?

Step 1 - Make sure your butter is COLD. Cut it into pieces and cream it on high for about 2 minutes in your mixer. The butter will turn a pale yellow when complete.

It is imperative that the butter be cold (maybe even the beater and the bowl) or the butter will never withstand the friction caused by the mixer. Remember, all structure is based in the butter; melted butter doesn't hold air.

Creaming the butter is, by far, the scariest process of making a cookie. You want to cream the butter really well but not melt it. Most people are afraid of that trade-off, so they only cream the butter about 1 minute and the butter looks like the above picture. Sorry, that's not enough time. The butter isn't smooth enough yet. Try creaming until the butter looks pale yellow like this:

Now that's gonna be good. And I promise this is the same butter, same mixer, same camera.

Step 2 - Scrape the sides. Add sugars, vanilla, salt. Cream on medium for 2 minutes (or until lump free). Scrape sides again.

Well, we've all been here and know what to do. The sugar crystals are pushed through the fat, adding air and softening the butter. The lumps are beaten out, and the mixture becomes light and more absorbent.

Step 3 - Mix (low speed) an egg that is at ROOM TEMPERATURE into the batter for 15 seconds. Scrape sides.

An egg lightens the batter, leavens a little bit, and adds (what else...) structure. Why room temperature? Because a cold egg causes the batter to lump, which gives cookies a broken appearance. When I make cookies, the first thing I do to prep is put a cold egg in a cup of hot water; it's sufficiently warm by the time I need the egg.

Step 4 - Add a blend of flour and baking soda. Mix (low speed) until just incorporated, about 30 seconds. Scrape sides.

Hopefully, your batter looks something like this:

Fluffy and light, but with a noticeable structure. Sorry for the blurry image. (I was in a hurry to preserve structure)

Step 5 - Add chocolate chunks. Notice that I didn't say chocolate chips. Mix (low speed) until just incorporated, about 15 seconds.

Here are the chocolate chunks I use. I still think they're a little small. When the batter is baking and melting the house of cards that you so carefully created, the thing that will save it is the chocolate chunks. The bigger they are, the more structure you will have in the cookie.

Step 6 - Place parchment paper on cookie tray. Drop the dough, bake at 350 for about 12 minutes or golden brown.

Parchment paper is really important here. It slows the melting process on the bottom of the cookie so it doesn't turn into a thin pool of crispness. Not only that, it's really easy to remove the cookies from the tray!

So that's it. A few tricks, and you too will have perfect looking, perfect tasting cookies. No Crisco aftertaste, crisp on the outside, gooey on the inside, fluffy, golden brown, and above all...a beautiful structure.

My Preferred Cookie Recipe

2011-07-17T15:52:00.000-07:00

If you want a good chocolate chip cookie recipe, below is the one I use. Just use the techniques I described above and you'll be alright. Oh, make sure the baking soda and flour are well mixed before being added to the batter.

This recipe comes from Sherry Yard's The Secrets of Baking. Sherry is not only one of the best pastry chefs in the country, she's also a great educator. This book won a James Beard award (the Oscars of cooking). If you want to be able to make any dessert on earth, this is the book for you.

Chocolate Chip Cookies

1.5 cups flour
.5 teaspoon baking soda
.25 lb (one stick) cold unsalted butter
.5 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
.5 cup plus 2 tablespoons light brown sugar
.25 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 large egg at room temperature
7 ounces bittersweet chocolate, cut into .5 inch chunks

Davis' Blessing

2011-07-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

Davis was blessed in church today. At 2.5 weeks, he was the youngest of our boys at the time of their blessing; Jordan and Carter were both just under two months old. I probably would have waited another month with Davis too, but by having the blessing today, Grandma and Grandpa Shamo were in attendance!

Now there's a happy crowd. It's been a good day.

Davis' blessing had similar elements to Jordan's and Carter's (same papa, you know), but Davis was blessed with a few unique elements; a sharp and keen intellect, a deep trust in his Heavenly Father, and the ability to be a peacemaker.

Blessing Outfit

2011-07-03T21:46:00.000-07:00

Eight years ago, my Mom made a blessing outfit for Jordan. Carter wore the same outfit for his blessing in 2006. Today as I was dressing Davis in the same garment, I forgot that the suit was made by my Mom; it's so beautiful that I thought we purchased it from one of those 'all-white' stores in Utah. Here are the other boys on the day of their baby blessings.

Here's our towhead, Jordan

We got this cute hat back in 2003 for the suit, but Carter was the only one with a head large enough to fill it out!

Who's the Boss?

2011-07-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Kids Bowl Free program, I've gone bowling with the boys a few times this summer. Carter is finally old enough now that the arcade portion of the bowling alley is no longer more enticing than the bowling lane, so we're actually able to get in 6 games (2 for each of us) for just a $4 shoe rental. Cha-ching.

The problem in bowling with a 5 and 7 year old is that they want strikes or spares on every frame. To keep them motivated when that doesn't happen, I've got to be an energetic cheerleader. "Way to hit that gutter!", "Oooh, you almost had it that time!", "Way to go!", "Knock the crap out of those pins!", etc.

My new cheerleading slogan that I tried the other day was "show those pins who's boss!" The first time I said it, I had to explain what I meant, but the boys seemed to like it. I said it a few times that night and the boys started saying it too.

Near the end of the 2nd game, Carter picked up his ball, looked back at me and said pompously, "I'll show those pins who's boss!" He then moseyed to the foul line, prepped the ball, and before releasing he yelled "JESUS is the BOSS!"

Sneak Peek

2011-06-15T07:12:00.000-07:00

Heeeeeeere's Davis! The 8 lb 14 oz, 22 inch long wonder, born at 4:38 am.

Turns out birthing centers have poor lighting compared to super-bright hospitals, so the pics we have so far aren't great. Above is the best shot of Davis' face. His head is still swollen and red from the cord being tightly wrapped around his neck, so who knows what he'll look like in a week or two. We think this boy might actually look more like The Lovely Cynthia (does that make him TLD?) - comment your thoughts.

TLC woke us up with a sharp gasp at 2 am when her water broke. Being nine days early, TLC's Mom hadn't arrived yet (she comes Thurs) so our good friend Jenny graciously agreed to watch our kids as we booked it down to the birthing center. TLC has been having real contractions for weeks now and didn't quite know when to go in, so the burst water was an answer to prayers.

Just 2.5 hours after we woke up, we had a baby boy. The midwives and I were not expecting the process to go so quickly; it took two pushes, less than a minute, for the delivery. I was in a state of quasi-shock when I caught Davis.

Cynthia deserves some mad props for this one. We were dissatisfied with the hospital deliveries for Jordan and Carter so TLC decided to have Davis naturally and in a water birth (I guess we're officially Portland hippies). I describe the process as being fast; she describes it as excruciatingly painful. During her pushing she screamed "I'm gonna die!" and "I don't want to do this!". She said she felt like he was so big that she'd rip in two pieces. When the midwives said it was time to push out the placenta, TLC flatly refused; she was spent.

This shot is included not because it's a good shot, but because it was meaningful to the boys. I told them before taking it that it would be the very first pic of all three of our boys. That awed them a little bit and they were staring at it immediately after it was taken.

Davis, so far, seems to be a really good baby. A cute kid, a cute cry, seems to eat well, and is quiet. While he was in the womb, TLC would often comment that he would respond to touch really well. The midwives also noticed this during an appointment and said he liked to play. Now that he's here, he's really responsive and interested in his environment.

Wow. This is going to be really fun. Welcome to the Crazy Clan, little one!

Quilt, part 1

2011-06-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

Jordan's school had an open house last week. The main purpose was to show us the awesome Egyptian decorations set up for the school's "Culture Week". Jordan also took us down to his classroom to pick up the above 'quilt' that he made. Among the quilt patterns, there are four tiles that describe some of Jordan's favorite things.

The drawing of frogs and the drawing of our family made sense, but I couldn't quite understand the middle left drawing...was it a house?...a store?...a rocket? Luckily, on the back of the quilt, all of the squares were explained.

That's where I found out what my son's favorite place is:

Yes, it really says The Pot Store.

Uhh...

I can explain that...

What Jordan means is the CERAMIC store. Yeah, ceramics. A few months ago, we took the boys to one of those ceramic studios where you purchase a bowl or plate, paint it up, and come back a few days later when it's glazed and toasty from the kiln. Jordan has quite an artistic nature so it's no surprise that he would enjoy the process enough to call it his favorite place.

This is the dinosaur that Jordan painted with Mommy's help

Carter, ever the financial-minded child, picked out a bank shaped like a soda can. You can probably already tell from the not-quite-even layers that I helped him with this one. I for one thought it was clever to use a Poké Ball instead of the Pepsi logo.

You know what else you could do with that bank? Hide your weed in there!

Quilt, part 2

2011-06-09T22:43:00.000-07:00

But here's the real reason Jordan's quilt was so remarkable...

I love playing catch. Probably because it was one of the few activities I felt like my dad and I could enjoy together in my formative years. There's just something about the sound of baseball smacking a leather web that's almost magical to me. I've played catch with TLC for years (even during all three pregnancies) and now the boys are old enough to play. I have seriously been choked up after playing catch with my boys a few times.

So you can imagine how great I felt when I saw Jordan's favorite thing to do:

I promise it doesn't say doll. We'll just have to work on those lowercase b's

The 'playing ball' pic is middle-right. Jordan specifically pointed out that it is a picture of him playing catch with me. I give him an A+.

Pioneer Century 2011

2011-06-08T21:43:00.000-07:00

Someday, in the far future, I'll look back on last Saturday as one of the dumbest, the craziest, the most painful, the most awesomest things I've ever done. I biked my first century ride (100 miles); it's the biking equivalent of running a marathon...and I'm happy to be alive.

and all I got was a lousy photo

Truth be told, this has been a goal of mine for quite some time. I've ridden over a thousand miles in preparation for this century, and I was really excited to finally give it a go...but it was much harder than I anticipated. I had the most fun 55 miles of my life on a bike; too bad the ride was 102 miles.

Here are the important stats:

Total Distance = 102.21 miles

Total Time = 6:51:57

Average Speed = 14.8 mph

And here's a mile-by-mile log of highlights/lowlights and a few more stats:

Mile 0 - Man, these bike events are cool. Lots o' cool and weird bikes to ogle and stories to hear. I fill up on free granola and yogurt, say goodbye to the wifey, and head out at 7:45.

Mile 12 - As I'm zooming by beautiful farmland with Mt Hood in the background, I start to notice painful spasms (like charley horses) in my calf muscles. I stretch them out as best as I can, but I start to get a little worried - I've never had this problem before. Turns out they stayed painful for the next 68 miles.

Mile 17 - I start to feel more bumps through my bike. I wonder if my rear tire is losing air, but it doesn't get worse, so I don't check until after the ride is over. Turns out it was a flat (oops...).

Mile 20 - We start climbing the 3-mile ascent of the largest hill of the course. Which brings me to my next stat:

Total Elevation Gain = 4414 ft

This particular hill was so killer that I didn't see anyone biking over 9 mph. I saw one lady fall off her bike onto the roadside in agony and say "I just wanted to get to the top!"

Mile 25 - This was the coolest part of the ride. That giant hill we just climbed? Time to go down the other side. It was a fairly technical descent and I had to apply the brakes a few times to ensure I'd make the turns. Even so, I went faster than I've ever gone on a bike:

Maximum Speed = 49 mph

If I had known how close to 50 I had been, I would have eased up on the brakes!

Mile 48 - This is where the headwind started. That foul, nasty headwind that everyone started complaining about the rest of the day. It never left.

Mile 50 - Here's where I saw a guy hop off his bike and puke on the roadside. That's when I first realized "What I am doing is stupid! And I kinda love it!" This is also around the spot where people stopped saying "hi" while passing each other.

Mile 55 - A wonderful fajita lunch. Most people don't go on for the remaining 45 miles, so it's a celebratory atmosphere at lunch. Around this time, eating becomes a chore; a necessary evil. This was my fourth large meal of the day. Why so much food? Here's my next stat:

Calories Burned (estimated) = 6970

That's the equivalent of eating ALL of this:

...and still having enough room to eat an In-N-Out burger, fries, and shake.

Mile 70 - Here's where I noticed that my body was having trouble regulating temperature. I was frozen in the wind, and boiling in the heat at the same time. I was showering myself with water and ended up running out of liquid a few miles before the next rest stop. How hot was it?

High Temperature = 94

It was the hottest day of the year so far, actually. My hottest training ride before this was probably 68 degrees.

Mile 82 - I got to the last rest stop and realized that I could not force myself to eat anymore. I knew I'd be out of energy by the end, but I couldn't shove down more than two pineapple slices. My legs no longer hurt, but I think it's because my body went into survival mode; goosebumps spread all over my skin, and my thought processes started to slow down. My biking pace slowed 20%.

Mile 100 - Holy crap! I did it! Look at me, Mom, I biked a century! But...wait a second...where's the end of the route? Nowhere in sight. I keep pedaling and hoping for the end (or death, whichever comes first). I saw another large hill in front of me and I almost went berserk.

Mile 102.21 - I finally make it back. I see my wife snapping shots and my boys run out to greet me. I don't think they'll ever understand how happy I was to see them.

Wow. I will never, ever do this again.

Until next year, that is.

Last Bump

2011-06-07T23:40:00.000-07:00

Any day now...

The due date is the 23rd.

Japanese Garden

2011-06-05T15:20:00.000-07:00

We finally visited the Japanese Garden in Forest Park a few weeks ago. Forest Park is an amazing place. You'd never guess that somewhere in all those rolling hills and trees that there's a zoo, an authentic Japanese garden, an arboretum, the International Rose Test Garden, children's museum, war memorial, etc.

I think the boys enjoyed this garden a bit more than the Chinese garden because there was a scavenger hunt with a prize at the end. We didn't have to worry about them being bored the whole time because of the promised reward (which ended up being a bookmark...lame).

I don't have any stories to tell, but here are some pics of the trip.

Dude, Where's My Pond?

2011-05-22T21:39:00.000-07:00

One of the few good things about our dinky apartment is the view. We easily have the best view in the entire complex, or out of any apartment we've ever been in before.

The above shot was taken from our balcony, May 19, 2010. TLC (The Lovely Cynthia) remembers taking it because of the rainbow that day. Our pond is beautiful. Frogs, ducks, geese, a beaver dam, and NO mosquitoes.

Just a few weeks before this picture was taken, there was a large rainstorm. Now I'm not talkin' about a typical Portland rain here...more like the flooding rainstorms I experienced in Brazil that wiped out their dirt roads. A very curious thing happened during that storm; the flow of our pond changed directions. Instead of westbound, the water started flowing east. Maybe there was another event that triggered the change in flow (maybe the beaver dam broke?), but that was definitely the day things changed.

It STILL moves east. And as a result, our pond has changed slowly over time. Almost a full year later (taken May 15th, 2011), here's a picture of our pond. Same balcony, same rainbow in the picture.

Tragic. I'm almost on the verge of getting out there and starting my own dam. Maybe I can get the apartment complex management to lower the rent due to the eyesore out the back window? Heh, prob'ly not.

Licked

2011-05-22T20:58:00.000-07:00

Apparently there are fifty licks in the average ice cream cone. Now to solve that mystery for Tootsie Pops...

I've mentioned the flavor-intensive ice creams from Fifty Licks twice on this blog, each time we went to the Food Cart Festival. Recently, we discovered our favorite ice cream from a food cart is now available at the grocery store! Yipee! Now we're absolutely hooked. If you're at a Whole Foods or New Seasons in Portland, pick some up...trust me, it's worth the 6 bucks.

The three oh-so-cute boxes above come from our three favorite flavors:

Coconut Lemon Saffron Sorbet: it's the vegan offering from Fifty Licks. Not only is the coconut milk flavor extremely decadent, it also somehow adds the rare spices cardamom and saffron in a perfect blend. It's quite the experience.

Tahitian Vanilla: vanilla ice cream the way it was meant to be enjoyed. If you've ever said the phrase "plain vanilla" you must repent and experience the complexity of taste that vanilla can offer, courtesy of this box of happiness.

Caramelized Apple: This may be the family favorite. Fifty Licks takes apple cider and reduces (via boiling) down to a sticky caramel syrup. Add in cream, sugar, and eggs, and that's all this ice cream needs. It's caramely, it's sweet, it's tart from the apples. Fifty licks isn't enough...get two scoops.

FYI, The other flavors Fifty Licks makes are Maple Bacon, Passion fruit Szechuan Sherbet, Stumptown Coffee, and Slabtown Whisky (though you won't catch me trying the last two).

Eat Mobile 2011

2011-05-09T20:31:00.000-07:00

Eat Mobile 2011! After last year's successful outing to the food cart festival, going this year was a no-brainer. How was it?...let's say that choosing to go next year will be a tougher decision. The ticket price doubled this year and yet it still sold out which means next year, it'll cost even more. Plus, the lines. Oh heavens, the lines.

If you expand this pic, use a magnifying glass, put your nose against your monitor, and squint really hard, you might be able to see where the entrance to the venue was. The line looped around for 4.5 city blocks. Last year we walked right in, but this year it was a 45 minute wait just to get in.

Still, there were some great changes this year. There were 40 carts instead of 30, plenty of free Vitamin Water for everyone, and more variety. Here are some of the better carts:

Slice Brick Oven Pizza - Arugula on a pizza? Only in Portland. Tasty stuff.

Wet Hot Beef - These guys don't excel in naming food carts, but they made a great roast beef sandwich. I'll have to pass by their place one of these days.

Garden State - The reigning two-time winner of the Judge's Choice award fell this year. The sample above (I'm at a loss of what to call it) was a culinary victory...but it was a very subtle combination. Subtlety doesn't win awards.

Eat This! - yeah, that's what the cart is called. I was SO excited they were at the festival because I've been talking them up to TLC for ages. They make flatbread sandwiches in amazing combinations...I tried one a year ago that had chicken, peaches, and caramelized onions. Not only that, but the flatbread is made AFTER you order. Incredible showing from Eat This!

Brown Chicken Brown Cow - This place specializes in steamed burgers. I've wanted to try this for quite a while now and it was worth the wait. Regrettably, Eat Mobile 2011 was the cart's last day of business.

Lardo - Geez, I wish I had a better picture than this. This was the unanimous favorite of our group. A wonderful pork slider on ciabatta. I may have to go here on my birthday for a follow-up.

Not pictured but definitely enjoyed: Whiffies Fried Pies (brisket, apple, and berry), Flavourspot S'mores Waffles, Fifty Licks Ice Cream, and a cornucopia of free Soy Joy bars! Woo-hoo! Viva la Food Carts!

Yesterday's Ties, Today's Eggs

2011-04-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

After the success of last year's Easter eggs, we decided to dye more eggs in old neckties. Cyn collected various ties from DI & Goodwill throughout the year in anticipation. Here are our best.

Paisley - ugly on a tie, great on an egg.

This was from a floral tie that we thought would be really pretty on an egg. Unfortunately, most of the colors didn't transfer over to the egg.

This is a repeat tie from last year.

The year's best Easter eggs. Purple for the win! Let's examine them individually...

This turned out far better than expected. The muted square in the background is actually the main feature on the tie - kinda strange that it didn't bleed onto the egg better. I guess you never know how these will turn out.

This egg is the first time we made an egg out of one of my old ties. Strange part is, it wasn't a purple tie; it was red. Weird. Power tie = power egg.

There's always next sitting

2011-04-29T14:40:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm done taking my exam. Time to sit back, relax, and start planning out studying for the SAME exam 6 months from now.

I can't vent too much here, but I haven't been getting much exam support the past year. So, it's back to the drawing board and hoping that I can plan my time wisely enough that I won't need much external support.

I took my first actuarial exam in November of 2004. I can't believe I've poured 7 years into this process and I'm still not done. Sigh. I need a gold star or something.

Tulips, Tulips, Tulips

2011-04-17T23:31:00.000-07:00

I can't be the only person to have noticed...when is Spring going to get here? We're tired of all the rain, thankyouverymuch. To alleviate our spring fever, we went to the Tulip Festival yesterday in Woodburn. Brilliant idea, I know...except that it was raining all last week so the farm was like a giant mud wrestling arena. Still, we managed to have plenty of fun.

Happy Happy Shoe Makers

Dan & Andrea were sporting enough to drive along with us despite our rowdy boys. The least we could do is give them a nice souvenir photo.

Pretty, no?

I'm so glad I found this tulip! These are the kinds of streaky tulips that started Tulipmania (history lesson here) back in 1637. I've never seen one of these bulbs before and I may not ever again; once-in-a-lifetime find.

Love this one. Looks like the boys belong on the farm. "What do you want to do today, Hans?" "Let's fertilize the tulips, Franz!"

We took several of these pictures and Carter pulled a different face in each one. Like father, like son.

"Okee-dokie, Hans,...I get zee wooden shoes on Tuesday und weekends, you get zee rest of der days". "Zis eez all too confusing, Franz, let's share das shoes!"

Bump! TLC at 30 weeks and 2 days. (gulp)

Georgina crosses the Delaware?

The boys (Hans und Franz) used their own allowance to pay for this fun trampoline ride. Jordan scratched an item off his bucket list by doing a flip.

Long Distance Relationship

2011-04-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

Carter has been carrying on a long distance relationship via email with a good friend in Wisconsin, Katie. Letters from 4-5 year olds are just too cute not to share...

Nov 2010
--------------------------------------------------
Carter,
I made a zebra hat. It is cute. I drew black stripes and white stuff. I really love you. Sometimes, I like to wear bows and play and jump and pick up--which I should do. I just love to do what is right--when I dance, when I play, when I pick up.
Your baby is in your Mommy's belly. Sometimes they eat breakfast and we go to bed. Sometimes, I like to dance and play with you and dance with you.
love, Katie
--------------------------------------------------
Katie,

I want to make a zebra hat. I want to give you an alligator hat. I'll send you an alligator hat in the mail. I like to play with you and I like to do fun stuff with you.I like to be good too and do what is right.

These stickers are for your Birthday.

We made rice crispy treats today, and banana bread. I painted two pictures today. I missed you when I moved. We got a new game from somebody.We are going to get a baby in a long week. But our baby is going to come. I'll give you a baby card soon to tell you that our baby is already here.

Love,
Carter

Dec 2010
--------------------------------------------------
Carter,

I like the stickers you sent. The princess one is my favorite. This one is for you. I'm going to get presents for Christmas. I want to give you a heart . I like playing with my little sister. I like to play with my Mom. I like to play with my Dad. I like to play with my brother. I like to play with my friends.
I think you're going to be a big brother. There's going to be 2 big brothers. The first one is Jordan, the other one is you. If someone goes in a baby room, they will wake up the baby.
Those are pink lips. I like pink lips. I have a "k" in my name. Your house is far away. And wrestling.
love,
Katie
--------------------------------------------------
Katie,

These pictures are for you to put on your alligator hat.
We just got a real Christmas tree already. I go to school now. There is a lot of fun at my school. We get to feed ducks at our house because we have a pond at our house, cause it's all day raining. It doesn't snow at Portland. I got shoes that are polished and I can zip them by myself, cause there's a button that is from the strings and you pull the string and it ties. We're making the alligator hat already for you. We use to have a little TV and now we have a big TV. I'm going to get presents from Christmas too. My birthday is coming up in a long week. I would like it if you were here. I hope you have fun wrapping presents for Christmas.

Love,
Carter

Apr 2011
--------------------------------------------------
Carter,
I had a dance recital. I did tap and I did a teddy bear dance. I don't know what else I did: star jump & jumping, & bouncing. I got to dress up. I wore a pink skirt and a tiara for my teddy bear dance. At the tap, I wore a yellow dress and a yellow wreath on my head. That's all. I want to put stickers on now.
love, Katie
--------------------------------------------------
Katie,

What do you have in your dance recital do you have a trampoline??
Do you know that I always can go to school, but I really like going to school. So I just wanted you to know that I like going to school, and I really do want to move again because that's so fun. And do you know that we have the Wii. Do you know we went to the Zoo and I buyed a Zoo Key and whatever you put it in it makes the noise that tells you a lot about the animals, and there's also a jeep that you put it in and it makes the noise. And did you know it was hot at the Zoo, and I really wanted some water. Now I want to put stickers on!

Love,
Carter

March Madness

2011-04-02T16:27:00.000-07:00

...meaning the OTHER March Madness...the insanely low prices during the month for bicycles from the previous model year! Seriously, if you're ever in the market to buy a new bike, do it in March. Your pocketbook will thank me.

Cynthia is now the proud owner of a 2010 Diamondback Lux Trail with a SRAM X-3 groupset, suspension fork, and disc brakes...plus it's purple and has flowers on it. yeah.

I got a new bike too. I've finally made the full transition from a mountain bike to a road bike. It's a 2010 Cannondale CAAD9 4 with a SRAM Rival groupset.

I was planning on building a bike instead of buying, but I test rode this and it was the greatest ride I've ever had. It's responsive, really light (16 lbs), wicked stiff but not harsh, and has perfect geometry for my size. Color me dork, I named it KITT.

I still have my old bike, Chaplin...but its role is now my winter/rain commuter bike. My bike commute time went down by 29% just by switching to the new bike. I'm also scheduled to ride my first century on it in early June!

Rice Museum

2011-03-17T22:25:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to write this post for a solid year now. Why did it take me so long? Beats me. But it's ready now.

We've been to lots of museums in our days. LOTS of museums, good and bad. If I had to name the best 'sleeper museum' (a good one that no one knows about), it would be the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals. That's right, a museum full o' rocks...not rice.

The Rice Museum is actually the old residence of the Rice family. I think those guys had more money than they knew how to use. Their home is VERY extravagant and almost the whole museum is their own personal collection. Above is the front yard of the home. Wowza.

Does anyone else see a quail, or is it just me?

A lone pine on a cliff overlooking a snowy, mountainous landscape? There are a number of these 'variety picture jasper' pieces to play Rorschach with. Last time I went back, I saw one that looked exactly like a desert road winding on forever.

This is Tucker, a fossilized Psittacosaurus baby. This is too awesome to be real.

This lovely piece is the Alma Rose - the centerpiece of the whole museum. Those red rocks are some of the largest pieces of rhodochrosite ever found. This one exhibit is worth a cool million bucks.

The fact that he's still relatively excited after 90 minutes of rocks is a good thing.

A huge thunder egg (common in Oregon, but not this size) with a pool of opal in the center.

The Eye of Sauron, donated by Mr. F. Baggins.

Last up, there's a dark room in the museum called "The Rainbow Room". It's full of fluorescent rocks and black lights. I love that the rocks still glow even after the lights turn off.

Bump!

2011-03-02T19:32:00.000-08:00

You requested, we deliver! By popular demand, I give you the baby bump-di-bump. Ba-bump... Bump!

TLC (The Lovely Cynthia) is 23 weeks and two days in this shot.

Silver Falls

2011-02-27T15:02:00.000-08:00

Triumph! A pose this dramatic can only mean one thing; for President's Day we took the best hike EVAR! I've got to warn you though, there are a ton of pictures in this post. I can't find a way to trim it down - it was all too great.

I've been trying to get down to Silver Falls for quite a while, but the timing never seemed right. Silver Falls is basically a waterfall lover's paradise of ten perennial waterfalls. In just 4.8 miles, we saw nine waterfalls. NINE! The Hammonds came with us and it turned out to be a beautiful sunny day; perfect for a hike.

So, let's begin. The hike starts at a very historical (and pretty) lodge built by the Civilian Conservation Corps in 1941. You can purchase a hot chocolate at the cafe and sit at their beautiful (and valuable) myrtlewood tables or...

...you can warm up your tootsies by the fire or...

...you can learn about the park's history and other activities. Then the fun really gets going when you start the trail.

Here are the nine waterfalls we saw that day...

South Falls (#1) - The best known falls in the park, it's only 150 feet away from the lodge. If you look carefully, you can see that the trail goes around the back of the waterfall - one of three chances in the park to get behind (and really close to) the spray. Back in the 1920's, a local man would send an old car off this waterfall every Independence Day. Why don't they still do that???

Jordan thought it would be fun to make sketches of all the waterfalls. Cute kid. If I could draw/paint, I'd probably do the same thing.

One of the reasons Silver Falls is a State Park instead of a National Park is because heavy logging 100 years ago left a large number of stumps in the area that (apparently) are too unattractive for a National Park. But hey - the stumps sure make for great photo ops!

Lower South Falls (#2) - I think we all agreed this was our favorite waterfall. It's so perfectly flat that you'd swear it was engineered to cover some evil mastermind's secret lair...or maybe it's just me that thinks that.

Lower South Falls is another one the trail goes behind. The waterfall is incredibly wide and the trail is so close to the spray that it's quite an epic experience. Cold in February, but unforgettable.

Lower North Falls (#3) - Nice little waterfall, but it looks a whole lot better in Autumn.

Double Falls (#4) - this two-tiered waterfall is the tallest in the park at 178 feet. I hear there's usually a rainbow visible there when the sun is out.

Drake Falls (#5)

Middle North Falls (#6) - By this point on the trail, you're wishing that someone could have come up with more creative names for such pretty falls.

Here's another of Middle North Falls. In the past it was possible to go behind this falls as well, but it has since been closed off due to unsafe conditions. Boo.

Twin Falls (#7) - probably the hardest waterfall in the park to get a good picture of. We had our lunch right on the banks of the stream above it. Doritos and Twizzlers were somehow involved despite my objections. Blech.

Winter Falls (#8) - I'm guessing this was named Winter Falls because it looks like icicles on the canyon wall, but that's just a guess. This was the last planned waterfall on our trip...but...

We also caught a view of the beautiful North Falls (#9) before leaving the park.

I'm not sure if we'll ever top this hike. Ten possible waterfalls, only $5 to get in, a modern cafe in a cozy lodge, beautiful Oregon scenery the whole way, and the hike is of variable length - anywhere from a few hundred feet up to 9 miles. If anyone reading this from out-of-state comes to visit us, Silver Falls will most likely be on the agenda. I can't wait to see it the other three seasons of the year.

As a sidenote, Jordan and Carter did great on this hike. Much better than our Ramona Falls hike last year. I'm excited to go on more longer-distance hikes with them while we're in Oregon. Way to go, boys!

Silver Falls (more pics)

2011-02-27T15:00:00.000-08:00

Tillamook

2011-02-23T21:26:00.000-08:00

I think we all had cabin fever during the winter, so we've gone on trips the past three Saturdays. First we went to Tillamook, OR to visit the Tillamook cheese factory. Strangely enough, even after living in Wisconsin for four years, this was the first cheese factory we visited. We hoped to purchase some grilled cheese sandwiches at the grill...but apparently the grill burned down. Oops.

Instead we got ice cream. Cynthia chomped on her classic flavor, Bubble Gum.

Jordan and Carter both got Cake Batter. It was good stuff, but if I want cake batter, I'll open up a box of Duncan Hines! What ever happened to Chocolate and Vanilla ice cream?

Carter was really excited the entire time at the cheese factory. I guess that's to be expected from a child whose three major food groups are cheese, milk, and ranch.

You're looking at a 40 pound loaf of future sharp cheddar cheese being wrapped for aging. The back of the worker's shirt says "I loaf you". Another shirt said "Loaf thy neighbor".

Of course, no trip westward would be complete without a trip to the coast. Oh, Pacific Ocean...how I love thee.

Story of My Life

2011-02-20T14:29:00.000-08:00

Sorry I didn't post this earlier, but in case you haven't heard, we're having another boy. Yup, three boys. My life is becoming more like a sitcom every day.

Crafty

2011-01-23T15:32:00.000-08:00

Well, in an attempt to add some girly things on our blog and portray life from my thoughts I am going to write a post. Besides, I can do things worth writing about.

See, I make things.

Balloon hats and swords on demand!

Receiving blankets and burp cloths as gifts for baby showers.

Quilted blankets for Jordan and Carter just because Carter asked me how I made a quilt from my childhood. (I took them to Joann's and they picked out the materials. But I did all the work.) I even learned how to make and attach my own binding for these, which is something I have never done before.

And of course, my annual tradition of making this nativity wall hanging. I've made one, or more, every year for the past seven years. Each one has gone to one of my siblings for Christmas. I have one left to make!

If Jordan had his way I would be making a whole lot more things. He wants to put into production every idea in his head. Like when he wanted Santa to bring him specialty costumes made from characters in his books and drawings. Unfortunately, Santa was a little too busy to make detailed costumes of "Bolt - Lightning Man" and "Huggie Monster", or they would be featured here.

But this idea made it to production. Jordan was home sick from school and thought it would be fun to make a fishing pole and fish for Carter. (Carter loves fishing.) I think they turned out darn cute for a totally from scratch idea and supplies.

The next idea on the list is sock aliens and sock monkeys. *sigh* That one is sounding like a big project. But, I like to be creative and see what my hands can produce.

Luck or Unlucky?

2011-01-22T23:57:00.000-08:00

While telling my colleague about my latest misadventure, I thought about how lucky I was. His first reaction though was to tell me how unlucky I seem to be. So which is it? Do I have great luck in bad situations or am I just optimistic in an unlucky life?

This is my bike, Chaplin. Yeah, I give everything a name. Its name is an homage to Charlie Chaplin as they share the same monochrome color palette. I've been riding it about 50 miles per week since June largely due to the encouragement of the above mentioned colleague. It's been a great bike, but I have had quite a few incidents already.

The most recent incident happened on Wednesday and now Chaplin is out of operation for at least the next few weeks.

In case you've never dealt with bike repairs, in the above photo there are two circled parts: the green circle is around the rear derailleur (de-RAIL-er) and the orange circle is around the derailleur hanger (aka dropout). The rear derailleur is an engineering marvel. The upper half (silver in the above pic) is responsible for changing the gears on a bike by moving the chain exact minuscule quantities, and the cage (black in the above pic) keeps the chain taut. The derailleur does all this while the bike moves at high speeds and wheel spokes are spinning at the speed of death just millimeters away. The hanger however, is just a piece of metal that attaches the derailleur to the frame. Its sole purpose is to sacrifice itself in case something 'goes wrong' so your frame and your derailleur don't break.

So on Wednesday I'm riding to work and the gears completely lock up as I'm climbing the biggest hill of the ride. I quickly unclipped from my pedals before falling over and surveyed the damage; I saw a complete carnage. The cage was brutally ripped off the derailleur. The derailleur was curled backward and stuck in the spokes. The hanger was bent 90 degrees. The only thing I could do was carry the bike to the bus stop and bus the rest of way to work.

To give you a better understanding of the carnage, I present you with this picture:

The top two pieces of metal are the sides of the derailleur cage. The bottom piece is the hanger. They should all be COMPLETELY flat to stay out of the spokes. And this photo is after I bent the hanger back into shape. They were mutilated by the rear wheel.

This is just about the worst mechanical damage you can have on a bike. And it's not supposed to happen! That hanger was SUPPOSED to sacrifice itself before the derailleur. Not so. So I purchased a new derailleur for $26. The rear tire will need to be trued and inspected as well. Here's the weird thing...I had to order the hanger from the UK at a cost of $26. How could a tiny piece of metal cost as much as the mechanically complex rear derailleur?

My colleague's viewpoint is that this is an exceedingly rare and rather expensive accident in my already extensive line of bizarre biking incidents. Plus I had to walk a long distance to the bus stop in my bike shoes which means I now need to replace the cleats.

But as I see it, I'm fortunate that the derailleur only cost $26 instead of the typical $100+. Plus, my frame was spared from the carnage. I'm also glad that I could even buy the hanger because they're hard to find and if I couldn't secure one, the bike would be useless. I also count my lucky stars that I was within walking distance of a bus. And finally, I think I'm lucky that it happened while I was going slow on an incline instead of while going downhill...or else my bike would have locked up like this...

Christmas 2010

2011-01-20T18:10:00.000-08:00

I've decided to muscle my way through the umpteen posts that I've had simmering on the back burner. First is Christmas. I already wrote about what we got, but I want to tell a few side stories.

Carter got the same present for the third consecutive year from Santa Claus. Remote-controlled dogs. That Carter...if he finds something he likes, he sticks to it.

He was quite the ham opening presents this year. At one point he ripped off the wrapping paper from a box and said "a box! A box? Why would I want a box?"

Here are our friends, Dan and Andrea. They're awesome, just so ya know. They came over for most of our Christmas festivities. For Christmas dinner I made duck. Really good duck. Not to mention the potatoes that were fried in the leftover duck fat - one of the greatest substances on earth. As good as it was, we decided not to make it a tradition. Maybe I'll try Turducken next year!

This was our very first real Christmas tree. More Christmas trees come from Oregon than any other state, so we must have sounded really strange telling people at the tree farm that we'd never cut one down before. Noble firs are just beautiful. Plus, they last so long. We also got a Noble fir wreath that is still on our door. I can't bear to toss it out while it's still fresh!

No story here...just stockings. I'm glad we had the foresight to purchase five of those stockings instead of just four. It'll come in handy next year. By the way, Cynthia has her ultrasound on Tuesday!!! Any last guesses on boy or girl?

I tried to build up excitement for the Wii by fooling the boys a little bit. Didn't quite work the way I had hoped, but it was still a decent reaction.

More Glasses in the Fam

2011-01-16T15:07:00.000-08:00

What do you get when a husband and wife, both with bad eyesight, breed? High vision insurance utilization! Geez, that almost sounds like a bad Actuary joke.

For the very first time we have vision insurance so Jordan now has glasses for the first time. They are twistable rimless Nike frames in red that look surprisingly good on him. They also look quite a bit like mine, but that's subject to change as I also need to get new glasses soon.

I asked Jordan what he wanted to blog about his glasses. He said "I love them! They can twist...without breaking. The glasses are red."

Be My Super-Awesome Wii Friend

2011-01-16T15:05:00.000-08:00

So I just figured out how to add Wii friends. Our console number is below; please add us and give us your console number so we can add you. No idea how to find your console number? Go here.

4421 0628 5280 7464

I know this is really geeky, but I used the LUHN Mod 10 method to ensure this wasn't a valid credit card number before posting it to the world.

Our Wii Connection enabled games are: Mario Kart, Mario Strikers Charged, Dr Mario Online Rx, Tetris Party (Wiiware, not the Deluxe CD version), and Wii Music. Even if you don't have any of those games, we'd still like to have super awesome Wii friends...'cause a Wii without a friend is just a Mii.

Pets

2011-01-16T15:03:00.000-08:00

It is now official; we have the first pets of our whole marriage. Not the best picture, but there are two frogs (African Dwarf Frogs) in that aquarium. Jordan asked for frogs for Christmas and Santa came through! Jordan named them "Sam and Toad"...great names if you ask me. The best part of this aquarium (Natural Aquatics system) is that we only have to feed the frogs twice a week and only need to 'clean' the water twice a year. I say 'clean' because we simply remove 2/3 of the water and fill it back up again. The perfect system to teach a 7-year old responsibility.

Ooma (Not Thurman)

2011-01-11T10:37:00.000-08:00

Yet another electronics purchase. I've got capacitors coming out my ears by now. We bought an Ooma box, something like this...

Although it actually doesn't look anything like that. We got the older and cheaper model. Regardless, it's a VOIP box so now our home phone service is free. Yippee! This did necessitate a change in our home phone number so if you need our new number, just ask.

As we have three different numbers, this change may be confusing, so let me detail it out for you.

Area code 414 number...this is our cell phone. We hardly ever use it and the number hasn't changed.
Area code 262 number...this is our Google Voice number. We use it as a forwarding number, so it will reach us no matter where we are.
Area code 503 number...this is our home phone. It has changed to a different 503 number. The old one is already disconnected, so ask for an update if needed.

Christmas Electronica

2011-01-06T22:45:00.000-08:00

Christmas was pretty extravagant this year. I suppose that's a result of having a smaller Christmas last year because of unemployment. It was sheer bliss from an electronics point of view. Here's what we got:

Vizio 37' 1080p LCD TV

When you've had nothing but an computer monitor for several years (albeit a respectable 22" monitor), a TV seems really, really big. Strangely enough, the TV's primary function is a computer monitor. We were lucky to get this the day after Black Friday on one of those doorbuster deals where the store only carries 2-3. Thank you sparsely populated Hurricane, Utah!

As we already have a tuner card in our computer there is little benefit to buying a TV. The only reasons we wanted it was 1) bigger screen and 2) the ability to hook up a...

Wii

I got a Wii! I got a Wii! I finally got a Wii! (And yes, it is black.) So now that I had a TV I started looking around for deals on a Wii. We were actually thinking that a Wii would be a gift for Christmas 2011, but Wal-Mart had the console for $125 and I couldn't pass it up. I don't care if it's not the #1 selling console anymore, it's still the most entertaining.

Call us if you ever want to play Mario Kart, Mario Strikers Charged, Dr Mario Online Rx, or Tetris Party via Wifi Connection! Our console number is 4421 0628 5280 7464.

MP3 Player

I finally joined the bandwagon and got an MP3 player. I haven't needed one since I sold my PocketPC back in 2006, but computer restrictions at work are becoming more intensive so I need something else besides my work computer to play music. Enter the Sansa Clip+. Does the job, durable, cheap, non-flashy. Perfect.

Chumby (Alarm Clock)

So maybe you guys have heard of a Chumby before, but I was completely late to the table on this one. A Chumby is a simple internet appliance with a speaker, mic, accelerometer and a touch-screen that is surprisingly difficult to explain. It can run several different flash-based applications that you place in different 'channels' (I have channels for news, wake-up, photo frame, shopping, games, etc.). It can play FM radio. It can hook up to your Pandora account. It can play from any other internet music service or streaming radio site. It has an infinite number of alarms that you can fully customize to either wake you up or silently start a new channel or dim the lights or shut off. It is a remarkable little device.

I got it to primarily act as an alarm clock. So it wakes me up (M-F) to Pandora at 6 am. But then it automatically goes to my "Good Morning" channel which has a word-of-the-day program, the weather, quotes-of-the-day, a clock, a pregnancy countdown for TLC, and a moon chart. At 8 am I have it set as a digital photo frame that pulls images of our Picasa Web Albums. At 9 pm it switches over to my 'Shopping' channel so I don't miss any good deals. It cycles through our email accounts at 10 pm. At 10:30 it goes dark and plays a sleep timer of our local classical radio station. I'm completely enamored with this thing.

Here are two of my actual 'channels' just to give you an idea of what I mean. They are flash-based, but no guarantees that they'll work correctly on here. Consider it just for show.

"Good Morning!" Channel

My favorite app in this channel is the pregnancy countdown. When you click on the app, it gives fun little tidbits about the swimmer TLC is carrying around.

Games Channel

Why else would we have technology if not to play games???

2010: Year of Woody

2011-01-03T18:23:00.000-08:00

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

-Woody Allen (Annie Hall)

I love Woody Allen films. The art, the exploration of human nature, the comedy, the acting, the drama, the title sequence that never changes, the big band music...I love it all. In 2010, I made a point of watching every Woody Allen film that I hadn't yet seen but wanted to. It was a glorious, glorious year. I even got TLC (The Lovely Cynthia) to watch a few good ones with me. After such a binge of Woody's movies, I now have to revise my top five Woody Allen movies. These are my personal favorites, not necessarily his best.

Crime and Misdemeanors

"God is a luxury I can't afford."

I finally saw this one just this summer. In my opinion, it is Allen's masterpiece. Two very human stories are intertwined; one a Greek tragedy with deep introspection, the other a realist comedy. Religion, relationships, life and death are all examined. The acting and direction are wonderful. A few scenes are so well done that they permanently burn into your psyche. I'll never listen to Schubert the same way again.

Annie Hall

"La Di Dah, La Di Dah"

Here's a little trivia for you about one of my favorite movie stars - Diane Keaton. Her birth name is Diane Hall and her friends call her 'Annie'...she is literally the title character in this film. The personality and wardrobe were straight from Diane Keaton; no creative writing needed. Good thing she got the Oscar for it, no one could have played herself better. Winner of the Best Picture Oscar, Annie Hall is a romantic comedy with a bittersweet end. Woody Allen's best comedy, by far. It's a film that shows its age, but I still love it. TLC however, can't stand it - hard to please everyone.

Radio Days

"I've never forgotten any of those people or any of the voices we would hear on the radio. Though the truth is, with the passing of each New Year's Eve, those voices do seem to grow dimmer and dimmer."

It seems that, sooner or later, every great artist does an homage to his/her childhood. This is Woody's tender remembrance of simpler days when radio waves ruled the culture of our nation. Touching, funny, and very down to earth. And filled with great music from the 20's, 30's, and 40's that (depending on your age) will either be fondly remembered or a great first listen of classic hits. Also of note, Mia Farrow's best movie, in my humble opinion.

Manhattan Murder Mystery

"Claustrophia and a dead body - this is a neurotic's jackpot!"

Diane and Woody's last collaboration resulted in the brilliantly funny, heart-pounding Manhattan Murder Mystery which is a murder mystery in Manhattan...brilliant title right?...or is it a murder?... Either way, you'll have an enjoyable evening trying to figure it out. Bonus points for the married couple working out their differences...a rare feat in a Woody flick.

Small Time Crooks

Ray - "The Brain. That's what the guys used to call me, right?"
Benny - "But, Ray, that was sarcastic!"

Small Time Crooks is a deliciously indulgent comedy about dumb crooks and cookies...seriously. It's a really fun time, but don't expect to be made into a better or more cultured person by watching it. Tracey Ullman, Elaine May, and Hugh Grant are perfect in their roles.

A few other of Woody's films deserve at least an Honorable Mention:

No other movie is like Purple Rose of Cairo. It's an unexpected dramedy in its own class.
Hannah and Her Sisters is Woody's biggest commercial success. A masterfully told story of three sisters.
Vicky Christina Barcelona is great cinematically, but I can't recommend it because of its content.
Curse of the Jade Scorpion is a period detective/comedy film. Many think it's Woody's worst film, but...

There are a few Woody Allen movies I saw this summer that I can't stand. Stay away from them...please.

Sleeper - quite possibly the worst comedic Sci-Fi ever made. Too screwball and dirty to matter.
Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy - dumb story, Mia Farrow is terrible,...there are no redeeming values.
Play It Again, Sam - I really wanted to like this homage to Casablanca. I couldn't even stand to watch it all.

Best of 2010 Album

2011-01-01T20:04:00.000-08:00

Here's our annual 'Best of' photo album for 2010. Finally. We were light on pictures this year, but for how busy the year was, I'm happy we took as many pictures as we did. Hope you enjoy the album!

Christmas Letter 2010

2010-12-26T12:52:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! Well...I guess it's Boxing Day now, but it's the thought that counts. We were unable to send our newsletter or a family picture via mail this year, so here is the document. You might also see it in your email or on Facebook...we're trying all options in an attempt to reach all of our wonderful friends and family. Our Christmas season was very enjoyable and we hope you also had a Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year!

Family Picture (Singular)

2010-12-14T13:04:00.000-08:00

Family pictures were a little different this year. Instead of several good shots, we have just one. Yep, one shot. And you won't be getting a wallet or 3x5 or anything else because we only have one single print this year. I suppose it's for the best - our family portrait is no longer complete with just the four of us.

And of course I had to do the obligatory photo mosaic! There are now 15,290 pictures from our marriage to select from and 10,000 tiles in the mosaic. I don't think it turned out quite as well as last year's, but good nonetheless.

In case you noticed...this is also the first picture I've released after my weight loss. I'm down 32 pounds in the family picture and now I'm down 37 lbs.!!!

Alfred Burt Carols

2010-12-05T20:12:00.000-08:00

Every Christmas season I'm amazed at how few people have ever heard of the Alfred Burt carols. Some of my favorite carols were written by him, and I've got to share some of them with you lovely people.

Alfred Burt (pictured above) had the perfect background for a Christmas carol composer: son of a pastor, and a trained jazz musician. Having a deep love of the Savior and a knowledge of when to use a C^7♯11 chord, he composed 15 beautiful carols as Christmas cards for family and friends every year from 1942 to 1954.

Sadly, he died at age 33 from cancer after finishing his Magnum opus (and my favorite Alfred Burt carol) "The Star Carol" just 24 hours before his death. Listen to this version by Simon and Garfunkel and remember that it is literally the last words of a talented and faithful young man...

Cynthia and I perform this version in church every couple of years. It's just too beautiful for words. Chokes me up often.

___________

John Williams (please tell me you've heard of him) did two medleys of Alfred Burt carols during his tenure with the Boston Pops. Below is one of them. At the six minute mark is another one of my favorites, "Caroling, Caroling", which sounds as much fun as caroling should be.

___________

The last one I'd like to share is "Some Children See Him". James Taylor sang a well-known version of it a couple years ago which I think is bloated, self-indulgent, and loses the simplistic beauty of the original. I prefer a simpler arrangement, like the one below by Perry Como. (It's also in the medley above at 7:30)

Carl Bloch Exhibit

2010-11-21T18:38:00.000-08:00

I can't think of many words to introduce this post. Basically, there's a Carl Bloch exhibit at BYU for the next six months. I couldn't miss it, so we stopped to see it on our drive to Hurricane. It was a once-in-a-lifetime exhibit, and the spirit was pretty strong there.

The above painting is 9' x 10'. BYU purchased it in 2001 and it's been the signature piece of their art museum ever since. It was stirring, but the reason the exhibit was such a rare one is because of the altarpieces. There were four other altarpieces present (like the painting at the top of the post) that have never been removed from their respective churches before. A few of them were still in the full woodwork of the altar...like this:

In short, it was a great exhibit and I'm glad I made time for it. If you're remotely close to BYU in the next 6 months, I highly recommend it.

Spiders Everywhere

2010-11-19T09:05:00.000-08:00

Holy geez, there are a lot of spiders here. Luckily, I don't mind spiders that much and I think their webs can be quite pretty, but my arachnophobia-meter has climbed a notch or two since moving to OR.

A spider has taken up permanent residence in my motorcycle. Every night it builds a beautiful web from the left handlebar down to the front fender. I've only seen the spider once - it quickly scurried into the wiring of the dash. No idea how it stays on the motorcycle at 70 mph. I hope it wears a helmet.

I was playing with the boys at a playground a few weeks ago when Jordan asked me to kill a tiny spider on the monkey bars. I reached up high with one finger and tried to smash it on the top of the bar where it was sitting, but instead I just swept it toward me. it landed in the corner of my right eye and it BIT ME! By the raise of hands, how many people have had a spider bite in their freakin' eye???

My brother-in-law had a possible run-in with a Hobo Spider and the resultant necrosis was not pretty. I checked out the region that Hobos live in...yeah, they're everywhere in Oregon. I'm always on the lookout now. Paranoia will save me.

A whole league of spiders lives on our front balcony. No amount of cleaning can remove their presence. It's quite common to open the door and see a spider hanging down in the doorway. Yesterday I went outside for 60 seconds and had a spider crawling on my shirt when I came back inside. Gross, gross, gross.

Rejoice in your hatred of spiders by reading the following blogs (caution: language):

Oatmeal
Hyperbole and a Half

I'm Thankful for Brining

2010-11-14T13:11:00.000-08:00

If there were one culinary lesson I could teach the world, it would be "how to bake a cookie". Most people have made cookies before, but very few have done it correctly. But if there were a SECOND culinary lesson I could teach the world, it would be "how to brine a Thanksgiving turkey". And I just happen to have that lesson handy!

Thanksgiving is the perfect opportunity to take things up a notch in the kitchen. I went to a group Thanksgiving a few years ago where the couple in charge of veggies got freezer peas, tossed on some super-processed shredded cheese and threw it in the microwave...I almost flipped. This is a time for homemade goodness and the elimination of anything processed. That includes the turkey, which is usually the most processed portion of any Thanksgiving meal.

Sad as it may seem, turkey is not good meat; it is inherently very dry and tasteless. If you buy a Butterball turkey, you're buying a turkey with loads of additive juices that compensate for the juice lost in cooking. Though it does keep the turkey somewhat moist, it tastes processed and prevents you from adding any flavor.

The solution to the turkey problem is brining. Brining tenderizes the bird and adds more juices to the turkey than those artificial additives - and the juice can be flavored any way you want! If you brine this year, I promise you will never cook a turkey the same way again.

Step 1 - Obtain a five-gallon bucket and a FRESH turkey. Home Depot has the above bucket for about 3 bucks. The fresh turkey is a bit more difficult to find. All frozen turkeys are processed and self-basting, so you can't use them - the brining process won't work. It has to be a fresh turkey with minimal processing. You can usually find them at Whole Foods, New Seasons, Trader Joe's, or Aldi. (I think that covers most everyone who reads this blog). I usually wait to buy until the day before Thanksgiving because the turkeys are cheaper.

Step 2 - Make the brine. A brine is nothing more than salt water; the basic rule of them is 1/2 cup of salt per gallon of water. There will eventually be two gallons of water in the bucket, so you need 1 cup of salt. You can add whatever flavors you want, but here's what I do: I get a gallon of chicken broth and boil it with 1 cup of kosher salt, 1/2 cup of brown sugar, a tablespoon of peppercorns, tablespoon of allspice berries, and two tablespoons of fresh ginger. The boiling is just to dissolve the salt. I let it sit in the fridge until cool and then plop it into the bucket. Doesn't look pretty, but it will taste great. Trust me.

Step 3 - Place the bird in the solution. The turkey needs to sit in the brine at least 6 hours. I like to brine it over night for good measure. Place the breast-up first because you want the breast to be as juicy as possible when it's ready for the oven/fryer.

Step 5 - Add a gallon of ice water to the solution to keep it cold. Back in WI, I'd cover the bucket with plastic wrap and place it in the garage because it was just as cold as the fridge. If you're somewhere warmer, place it in the fridge or a cooler.

Step 6 - Halfway through the brining time, flip the bird over so it's breast-down.

That's it. You now know the sacred art of brining a turkey. It can now be cooked in any method you choose and the turkey will turn out perfectly, every time. I use the same brining method when roasting a chicken or duck, just with a smaller 3-gallon bucket (an old BYU creamery bucket!)

The Fetal FAQ

2010-10-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

Having a baby changes everything, so people have lots of questions. Here are the answers to most frequently asked questions we've had the past week.

When are you due?

June 23rd.

How far along are you?

A whopping 6 weeks.

How long were you trying? Was it an 'oops'?

Not an oops; quite intentional. Though we only tried for a total of one month.

Do you want a boy or a girl?

Neither one of us has any strong feelings. We wanted a girl both times with Jordan and Carter, so you see how well wishful thinking works. Now that we've been specializing in boys for 7 years, I'm very worried about relearning how to parent a girl, not to mention the extra expenses that girls create over their lifetime.

Does this mean you're buying a house?

No. Still can't afford it. We're getting close though; one or two more stable years should do it. We will have to move from our tiny apartment though. Hooray!

Why so long in between kids? Were you planning on raising separate families?

First of all, I don't think a five year interval is that long. We neither prevented or tried to have kids the past 5 years. I guess it just wasn't time. Cynthia finally got baby hungry enough that I couldn't ignore it any longer.

Any names picked out?

We've had a boy name picked out for years now, but Jordan told us that he thinks it sounds "evil". Hmmpf. As for a girly name, no...we haven't found one we both like.

Does TLC (The Lovely Cynthia) have more marathon plans?

Heh. No. I think a half was enough for her.

Half Marathon, Plus.

2010-10-24T12:39:00.000-07:00

I am so proud of my wife! She ran a half marathon yesterday, but this wasn't JUST a half marathon...

I got Friday afternoon off of work so we could all head to Hermiston, OR to pick up Cynthia's race packet before the 5 pm deadline. The trip was uneventful and blazingly fast (85ish MPH). Upon reaching Hermiston, I pulled out the directions to get to the conference center. Long story short, I was so focused on the directions that I didn't see the speed limit of 25 in an area (right by a high school) that really should have been 35. Ergo, I got a ticket for going 40 in a 25. That's my first ticket in 14 years. $190.

Eventually we got the packet and traveled 30 mins to Kennewick were we were staying with the Jakemans. Thanks again, guys. We talked, we ate carbo-licious spaghetti, we played games...and then we went to bed at a perfectly respectable 10:30.

The kids however, had a different plan. Our boys were still awake playing with Calan when I went to bed. Sierra woke up at 4 am and wanted some food. That's when Cynthia woke up and she didn't catch any more winks until after the race. Then Carter, who I have named "Pipes" after our last long-distance drive, lived up to his name by puking at 5 am...and many times thereafter. This caused us to leave the house late and get to the race 6 minutes late. Going the wrong way didn't help either.

Needless to say, Cynthia was extremely nervous.

But she did it. She really, really did it! Four months of preparing, and she stuck through it all.

As soon as we got to the finish line to cheer her on, everything seemed to go right. She felt great, Pipes wasn't sick, and I...didn't get any more speeding tickets... It was a great day. But the real reason this was no ordinary half marathon and I'm incredibly proud of her is because....

She did it while pregnant!

Kids Say the Darndest Things, Part III

2010-10-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

Whenever we collect 12 or more sidebar quotes from the boys, the oldest ten are archived into a post. You can find the previous editions in the following links: Part I Part II

Carter - "Guys! Guys! Mount Hood is so snowy. If you're going you should bring a snow ball thrower!"
It's amazing how quickly kids learn strategic negotiations and manipulations. Carter saw a snow ball launcher at REI just a few days before our trip to Mt Hood. He wanted it but we politely told him that there's never enough snow in Portland to warrant a snow ball launcher. Once we got to Mt Hood and saw glaciers, he knew there was a way to argue his point. Still not buying it though, kiddo.

Carter - "The moon is a tall glass of water."
Most people would say that the full moon is rather large, but Carter loves expressions. ...We love the way he misuses expressions.

Jordan - "Mommy, did you know if you believe in Santa he really is real?! You should try."
So Jordan asked us upfront last Christmas if Santa was real. Not one to lie to her kids, Cynthia told him the truth. Ever since then, Jordan has been telling us evidences of Santa's veracity. It's pretty cute.

Carter - "Mom, it's taking a long time for me to get old. I've just been waiting for it ALL DAY!"
It's cute how much Carter wants to grow up. He's asked us to measure his height twice in one day and he loves showing his 'strong arm' (right arm) off to anyone who will listen.

Carter - "Blow out the candle and we could put it on again and it will say ' I'm Alive!' "
There's a cartoon on Animaniacs that stars the tiny candle flame Thomas Jefferson used while writing the Declaration of Independence. At one point the flame is blown out but then comes back to life saying the above line. So Carter thought it would be fun if our dinner table candles did the same thing. By the way, how cool is it that my kids know Animaniacs cartoons by heart?

Jordan - "Carter, guess what Daddy is the leader of - the whole family. And Mommy is the leader of the whole family. And guess what I'm the leader of? YOU!" Carter - "I like you, Jordan"
Jordan the power-monger. Carter the brown-noser.

Carter - "But seals eat fish. They eat big fish without even mixing it."
Amazing what you learn at the zoo!

Jordan- "Wow! I've never seen the rain, Rain so much!"
This was right after we moved to Portland. He does have a point...

Mommy - "Carter are you still hot? " Carter- " Ummm ... mmhh! But the hot is hiding on my back."
Carter, sitting in his car seat, was right in the sunlight during a long trip. We got the sun out of his eyes and inquired of his status a few minutes later.

Carter- "I really liked my batman fishing pole, but my batman fishing pole was killed. So I just got another one." (said sadly)
By 'killed' he means that he dropped his pole in the lake. Carter prefers the spearing method of fishing over the traditional line method. Sheesh.

Then and Now

2010-10-10T20:03:00.000-07:00

October 2007

The more things change...

September 2010

...the more they stay the same.

The Disney Store had a sale on pajamas, and we couldn't resist. You know, I already miss the days when our kids were that young. I wonder how many years it will be before they completely outgrow Toy Story.

Magnificent 7

2010-10-05T18:51:00.000-07:00

Jordan turned seven! ...Hold the phone... I have a seven-year-old? I swear I'm not mature enough for this.

We decided last year to have a family-only party every other year and so this was the first birthday just for the fam. Jordan asked us to compensate for the lack of friends by buying him an extra present and catering to his every whim (he's a great negotiator).

Jordan's favorite color is green and his second-bestest color is blue, so the whole party was based on the above color palette.

The big gifts of the night were the Lego Star Wars sets. Now he not only has a Lego Star Wars t-shirt and computer game, he also has the mucho expensive lego sets as well. I hate to admit it, but I had a blast building those darn things. Legos are so much cooler than when I was a kid.

Here's the cake that Jordan chose. He wanted a 'blueberry cake with blueberries in it with blue frosting, green frosting numbers (1-6), a number 7 candle, and blueberries on top" (we put the blueberries on later). The cake was from scratch (as always) and though I've never attempted a blueberry cake before, it was divine...like a giant blueberry muffin.

I just can't believe how fast he's grown. We're very proud of him and how far he's come - it's been a long time since he was our little "Squishy". Happy birthday, Jordan.

Inception of Confusion: A Detailed Analysis

2010-09-18T21:37:00.000-07:00

Note: all the charts in this post are expandable by clicking on them. You'll thank me later.

This post may be a bit late to the party, but I was made aware that people are still experiencing Inception for the first time, so here goes...

I love Christopher Nolan movies. Inception has joined a fond place in my analytical mind right beside other Nolan classics like Memento, The Dark Knight, and The Prestige. The writing, cinematography, direction, tightly created philosophies...they're all spot on. I'm glad I convinced TLC to watch Inception with me - I was in cinematic heaven.

Here's a funny little video of how Inception SHOULD have ended. For those of you who haven't seen the film (...or Juno), the video won't make any sense. But for those of you who have seen Inception, well...the rest of this post may not make any sense either...

I spent at least an hour one day checking out HowItShouldHaveEnded.com. Great stuff.

Many, many people have reported feeling very confused about what was going on in Inception. Personally, I don't see where the confusion is coming from...and I'll tell you why. In a well-made film with a cohesive plot and story, there are really only two ways to confuse the modern audience: non-linear storytelling, or alternate timelines.

Nonlinear Storytelling:

Memento
(TLC wants me to inform you that I've only seen the edited version of this film and, consequently, cannot recommend the unedited version for your viewing pleasure.)

I'm not talking about a simple flashback when I say nonlinear storytelling. Flashbacks are devices used to show the explanation or thought of a past event in the present. Nonlinear storytelling is a deliberate device to obfuscate the story for an audience or increase suspense and drama, not enlighten as the flashbacks in Inception do.

An early Christopher Nolan film, Memento is a beauty of nonlinear storytelling. The protagonist is a former detective with no short-term memory (which is a real condition) who is trying to get revenge for the murder of his wife. In order to put the audience through the same experience as the protagonist, an elaborate edit of the story is used:

The opening scene is the last event in the story. The second scene (which is black and white) is the first event in the story. Then the next scene (back to color) is the second to last event and the scene after that (B&W again) is the second event in the story! So the movie switches from telling the ending of the story in backward order and telling the beginning of the story in the correct order but in black and white. The movie eventually meets at the middle of the story (and transitions from B&W to color), and that's the closing scene. The plot versus story editing is so masterfully done and so CONFUSING that the following graph was produced to illustrate what's going on.

I had to spend a few minutes just trying to understand the graph!

If you've got a really keen eye, you probably already saw that the first scene (the upper left-most red line) is moving in a different direction than all the other lines. That's because the first scene is played out in reverse, so the first frame of the film is literally the final second of the story. Wow!

In comparison, Inception makes use of nonlinear storytelling, but to a MUCH lesser extent. The opening two minutes of the film is close to the last thing to happen chronologically. I'm not even sure why, it's a nice touch but unnecessary to the presentation of the plot.

But as confusing as Memento may be, it can't even hold a candle to this next film.

Alternate Timelines:

Primer

Primer was a small independent film that came out in 2004. It was shot on one of the smallest budgets I've ever heard of and is still the most confusing and one of the smartest films I've ever witnessed. Primer is about two buddies (Aaron and Abe) who accidentally discover time travel ("Oops!") and have to face the ethical dilemmas their machine (which they simply call "the box") creates in their own unique styles.

Just the method by which the time travel is depicted is extremely smart. So smart, the chart below was produced to explain it.

What? No DeLorean?

The dialogue in Primer assumes that Aaron and Abe know so much about physics that they have no need to explain it to each other, so heavy physics nomenclature is used and the audience is left out of the typical "dumbed-down Star Trek explanations" of what stuff does. For instance, you've just got to know that Palladium can be found in a catalytic converter...there's no explanation in the film as to why Aaron is cutting one out of his car.

So here's my point: a smidgen of the "confusion" from Inception may come from the use of alternate timelines. You see, there isn't just one 'reality' being played out - there are five (or six) during the climax of the film: Airplane (which is reality), Bridge, Hotel, Snow Zone, and Limbo (with the sixth timeline possibility of Cobb being placed in an artificial happy ending...though I perceived it as reality). But all events of the timelines are shown and they're all in chronological order, so it's really easy to follow.

Primer has NINE timelines. I can't designate them by different locations like in Inception as they all happen in the same geographic area. The timelines aren't presented in chronological order (...I think?), and only seven timelines are shown in the film! The initial timeline isn't even in the movie - it's just assumed!!! It's so completely confusing that (are you noticing a trend?) there's a graph of the various timelines below. Only the yellow sections of the graph are in the movie - all the blue is just implied. I spent at least an hour thinking through the graph...and I'm still a little fuzzy on how a minor third character, Granger, found out about 'the box'.

I was hopelessly lost through the final 20 minutes of the film. And I still loved it. If you have Netflix Instant, I highly recommend spending an evening trying to figure out Primer. You will never, ever again be confused by a wide-release film like Inception.

By the way, Primer is so confusing that it was even used as a punchline in the following comic (which is extremely well-done) from the uber-geeky xkcd.

First Days

2010-09-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

Ahh, Autumn. How I love thee. I love the pomegrantes, pecans, and pumpkins. I love the fall leaves and hot chocolate evenings. I love the smell of stoked chimneys in the neighborhood. And I love the structure that returns to our household when the kids are back in school!

The patriotic first-grader.

Jordan loves the idea that now he has homework. No idea how long that excitement will last.

Carter also started preschool this year! Unfortunately it's not a state-funded program in Oregon, but I still think it will be worth the tuition. Carter already had a field trip where he collected fruits and vegetables from a local farm. He seemed very pleased when we put out his produce as a centerpiece on the dinner table and then tried them all.

Can you tell he's a naturalized cheesehead?

Better Board Games Part 2: Exclusives

2010-09-14T18:30:00.000-07:00

I think I'm writing this because I'm getting depressed that I can't find any local board-gaming couples to play games at our house. On Sunday we called about 6 families to invite them for dinner and games. The first 5 didn't answer their phones, the sixth couple said 'yes', but then canceled. Do they hate having fun? Don't they know how well I cook? Should I just take a hint?...

Anyway, as I've stated before in the first Better Board Games post (which is practically required reading around here), we have a large collection of designer board games not found in the average American household. To reiterate, a better board game has the following characteristics:

Most important, it has to be FUN.
It should be EYE-CATCHING. Just like with great cuisine, the gaming experience is enhanced if it's pleasing to look at.
It should require players to make CHOICES. This is what draws people into games. No roll-and-move games accepted here.
It should be EASY TO TEACH in less than 5 minutes. Any longer, and most people will shut off their ears. True story.
It must be SOCIAL. In board games, you're meant to have fun with other people. The best games promote conversation among those playing.

I listed five examples in the first post. Here I'd like to highlight five more examples, but this time the games are rare finds even by collectors' standards. So if you'd ever like to play these games you MUST COME TO OUR HOUSE...please???

Crokinole

Crokinole is simple flicking game reminiscent of shuffleboard on a round surface. This is one of my three favorite games and we play it more regularly than anything else. I love the above photo because it really shows the spirit of Crokinole: generations playing together, a well-worn surface from MANY games, and excitement over every single flick.

Why it's rare: A typical board can cost $150-$500. I decided to make my own board instead of pony up the cost.

Mississippi Queen

Mississippi Queen was the 1997 winner of the 'Oscars' of board games: Spiel des Jahres. It's basically a steamboat race down the Mississippi River, but you don't know what's coming next on the river, and you have to slow down to pick up passengers on the way. I never know what to expect on this one (except fun).

Why it's rare: This game has been out-of-print in the USA for many years. Boo. You can still find it internationally, but the price is much higher than when it was in print. I was lucky enough to find someone on Ebay willing to sell it for less than 1/2 of its value.

Go is the greatest game ever made. Let me repeat that, Go is the greatest game ever made. One philosopher stated that God's closet has one board game - Go. Simple enough to learn in 5 minutes, yet mastery takes a lifetime.

Why it's rare: Truth be told, this isn't a rare game but most Westerners haven't heard about it as it's of Oriental origin. Instead, we perceive a European game, Chess, as 'the master game'. I hate Chess, but love Go. Also, it can get pricey. Really nice sets can cost $10,000+ but my still-quite-nice set was 1/100 of that.

PitchCar / PitchCar Mini

Another flicking game like Crokinole, but this one has a building component. You build a race track out of various curves, straights, and jumps before flicking wooden cars around three laps. The best games come unbelievably close to the wire and have a few wild shots that jump off the table. Lots of funny moments here. I made some custom Nintendo character discs and a new rule set for my copy...I call it Mario PitchKart.

Why it's rare: Well, first of all, this isn't made out of cardboard. It's wooden and therefore, pricey. Second, the publisher of this game doesn't really make anything else so they don't have a great distribution system; it's hard to find in stock. We have Pitchcar Mini instead of the larger version because the full-size track wouldn't fit on our table!

Nexus Ops

This game is different from all the rest on this list in that it is an American game. Nexus Ops is a corporate battle for resources on an alien planet that always seems to turn into an intense game of 'King of the Hill'. And did I mention it glows under black lights??? Seriously, that makes it awesome by any standards.

Why it's rare: Nexus Ops used to sell for practically nothin' at Toys R Us. But the stores didn't keep the game on shelves long enough for it to become popular. Now that the game has a huge cult following, it's out of print. I had to order it from Australia.

I hope this convinces you all to answer your phone the next time I call. ;)

Voodoo Who-do?

2010-09-13T18:30:00.000-07:00

I finally convinced Cynthia to try out that Portland classic, Voodoo Doughnut. I don't think it's any coincidence that the doughnut shop is located right across the street from this sign:

If you're lucky enough to visit Voodoo when there's not a line around the entire block, you'll step into the building and feel like you've stepped into another realm. Seriously, it looks more like something out of a Lewis Carroll book than a kitchen inspected by the health department.

Merchandise and doughnut names that would make a politician blush are strewn across the store. Not exactly a place to take the family. But man, those are good doughnuts. Here's a pic of the best three we tried out...

(clockwise from left) Mango Tango, Voodoo Doll, and Maple Bacon Bar

Mango Tango is mango-filled with Tang powder on top. I couldn't believe how perfectly balanced the mango flavor was with a doughnut! Why aren't these suckers sold everywhere?

Voodoo Doll is aptly named. A doughnut shaped like a voodoo doll with bloody raspberry filling and a pretzel stick needle for good measure. It's a standard jelly-filled doughnut, but the raspberry jelly is really, really good. Strong flavor and sweet, just the way it should be.

Maple Bacon Bar. I've said it on this blog before and I'll prob'ly say it again: bacon is the candy bar of meats and it fits perfectly on a maple bar. Kind of like having a a pancake-bacon-doughnut breakfast in one easy package. By far my favorite Voodoo doughnut...perhaps my favorite doughnut anywhere. Just to rest your fears, the bacon isn't limp or fatty; it's perfectly crisp and dry. I wouldn't be surprised if they use pre-cooked bacon for it.

They boys also tried a Double Bubble, TLC tried a Grape Ape and Neapolitan. I'm still trying to work up the courage to order a doughnut that looks delicious but has an unsavory name (that I won't mention) - the doughnut has Oreos with a peanut butter glaze.

Splish Splash

2010-09-07T23:00:00.000-07:00

For Labor Day weekend, we drove to Kennewick, WA to visit the Jakemans. I haven't seen our ol' BYU Quad 5 buddies since graduation. Now a mere four hours away, our schedules finally aligned and we were able to visit for a long weekend of fun. Thanks for inviting us into your home and entertaining us, guys.

I was never able to get a photo of their whole family because their oldest kiddo, Calan, was too busy doing this...

Jordan is one creepy Sith.

Despite the fun we had catching up, during the weekend I was harshly reminded of the fact that water sports and I do not mix.

At a waterpark, I hurt my sinus (is that even possible?) on the water slides, made a fool of myself bodyboarding, and was even stung by a wasp...IN MY MOUTH!

I also cut up my toe bodyboarding, cut my thumb while kayaking on the Columbia, scratched up my back in the waterpark's lazy river (of all places), and my sunburn is quite severe.

Then, to complete the weekend, we went paddle boarding.

Personally, I think the whole paddle board idea is pretty cool. Kind of like driving a gondola or walking on water. And how hard could it be?

TLC stood up with ease...

David was paddle boarding with a child on board...

Rebekah paddle boarded...in jeans...without the need for vision...and without her hearing aids.

So I, with my amazing physique, couldn't possibly fail.

Fail #1

Fail #2

EPIC FAIL #3

The Columbia River is a cold, cold place, my friends. Cold and heartless.

More Jakeman Pics

2010-09-07T22:59:00.000-07:00

Ramona Falls

2010-08-29T11:32:00.000-07:00

So we had a lot of fun at Mount Hood. We ate huckleberry milkshakes and huckleberry pie at the Huckleberry Inn, we read books on the bank of Trillium Lake, we went zipping down an alpine sled, and we all relaxed. But the end of camping came much too soon. To finish off our trip, we hesitantly decided to take the boys on a 7.1 mile hike to Ramona Falls. The boys did fine on a steep 2.8 mile hike two days prior, so we figured it was worth a shot, especially if the falls were 'exceptionally beautiful' like our hiking book said.

There was a huge flood three years ago that wiped out part of the Ramona Falls trail, Pacific Coast Trail (the one that runs from Mexico to Canada), and the Timberline trail (40 miler that runs around Mount Hood). The above pic shows a very small portion of the devastation. Even three years later and with a guidebook, it's quite difficult to figure out how to navigate the trail. Given the difficulty of finding the path and getting to the out-of-the-way trailhead, this may be the only time you see pics of Ramona Falls. You're welcome.

One side of the trail loop runs by a pretty stream hugging a cliff. Very nice photo ops. I just wish that I had a tripod. I took the above shot with Carter on my shoulders - holding a camera steady is difficult like that. I did have to carry both boys quite a bit during the hike as seven miles proved to be a tad much. I carried Jordan about 3/4 mile and Carter about 2.5 miles.

But as difficult as it was, we made it! Here's the photographic proof. Carter is sporting his Junior Ranger hat with badges from Zion, Grand Canyon, and Pipe Springs.

We got there late in the afternoon, which was a perfect time to see the falls. The lighting was beautiful. However, it was a horrible time to take photos. The contrast of light and shadow was just too great. So here's the best shot I could get of the 150 ft. by 150 ft. waterfall...

Not good enough for you, eh? Well, I also took a video. So there.

Nero Shots

2010-08-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

On our first day of camping at Trillium Lake, the evening was perfect. A nice spaghetti dinner, a light smattering of rain, then a perfect temperature with no wind. To top it all off, there was a great sunset over our campsite. TLC (The Lovely Cynthia) had me take a picture which is shown below.

As the sun went down, the sky became more and more red. Jordan decided that he wanted to be in a pic with the sunset. So...

I took one. Since I needed a flash to get Jordan in the image, it darkened the background and made the sky look more red than it really was. I called the pic a 'Nero shot' (and then had to explain the reference to everyone).

Then TLC decided we needed a Nero shot of everyone (except the photographer)...

After a few bad shots when someone invariably had their eyes closed, Carter decided to experiment a little (as shown above). And when Carter started the shenanigans, the whole thing got even sillier...

I still don't understand what bananas and surfing had to do with it.

Mt. Hood Overload

2010-08-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I've been smitten with Mount Hood from the first day we moved here (or whenever I could first see it through the winter cloud cover). I told Cyn that for vacation this year I wanted to go wherever I could get a good pic of the craggy wonder. Well, after four days of camping at Trillium Lake, I think I came away with around 250 shots of the mountain. I only got snaps of the West and South sides, so the collector in me is already planning a trip to the North and East sides...tee hee. To show you my level of fanaticism, here's a representative image from every angle I got.

Trillium Lake Nordic Loop

Trillium Lake (morning shot)

Mirror Lake

Extreme close-up! Taken from Timberline Lodge. This shot is from halfway up the 11,000 ft height.

Trillium Lake at sunset. Yes, I was crazy enough to take pics from the same locations during different hours of the day.

Lolo Pass. This is the West side, so it's pretty close to the view of the peak we have from downtown Portland.

Muddy Creek view.

Obsessed? You be the judge. But with a mountain that pretty a mere 60 miles away, can you blame me?

Which shot do you like best?

Berry Good

2010-08-09T09:00:00.000-07:00

Lately we have been picking berries like they're diamonds worth hoarding. We've trekked to a local berry farm three times already, and Cyn is heading back today for more.

We've been going to Rowell Brothers, which is five miles from our apartment, has ridiculously low prices (99 cents a pound anyone?), and an all-you-can-eat free of charge policy.

The main reason we've been going here in Oregon and never did in Wisconsin is in the above picture...boysenberries. These li'l guys are just too hard to find and they're only available for 2-3 weeks every year. If you know much about me, you probably already know of my great love for the boysens. This year's Thanksgiving pie is going to be killer! Not to mention all the Boysenberry Butter Tarts! We've got two gallons of perfectly frozen boysenberries in the freezer.

Some people might call it family fun, I call it child labor.

One more pic of boysenberries...because they're the nectar of the gods.

We made the mistake of picking these Willamette Raspberries (which are amazing) on a brutally hot day. The berries couldn't hold their shape very well in the heat so the only option we had was to make jam.

On Saturday we got almost eight pounds of blueberries. Cynthia enjoyed the outing so much that she told everyone she knew how we got $50+ worth of blueberries for $7.70. It's funny though, everyone has asked "what on earth do you do with that many blueberries?"

Well, on Sunday I used 4.5 cups of berries for Sneaky Chef recipes, we've eaten about 2 cups frozen already, I'll use 4 more cups of blueberries for a Pomegranate-Blueberry Sorbet this week, and I can go through 2 cups per week for snacks at work. At this rate, the berries won't even last through the Fall. By the way, eating blueberries straight out of the freezer makes them taste like ice cream.

Cynthia was so proud of her first attempt at making jam, and I'm also a big fan. I can't believe how flavorful the Willamette Raspberry jam is compared to store-bought raspberry jams.

There and Back Again

2010-08-03T08:59:00.000-07:00

Hooray for Cynthia being home again! What does someone do with 37 days of free time? You go to...

Bear Lake. Which, I hear, is the only place on earth to have a family reunion. Seriously, I know 7 people who are having family reunions this summer...every single one is at Bear Lake.

Minnetonka Caves in Idaho. Just because it has a cool name.

The Utah Shakespearean Festival. Cyn went thrice and saw two shows: Much Ado About Nothing, and Pride and Prejudice...sans Colin Firth.

Bryce Canyon, which I've always thought looks like how I imagine Mars looking.

Zion National Park

Sand Hollow Reservoir

Pipe Springs National Monument

The Grand Canyon...I know it doesn't look very canyonish, but I just had to show you the bison.

Ahh, Now that's more like the Grand Canyon.

Jurassic Park. I mean...Utah's Museum of Natural History.

She also spent time visiting both our families, playing games, helping with cleaning, visiting friends, etc. It was a long time to be apart, but it was very valuable for the boys to be able to really get to know their grandparents and cousins. Thanks to everyone for being so accommodating to Cyn and the boys.

Ira's Fountain

2010-07-14T19:19:00.000-07:00

Right outside my office is Keller Auditorium - the best theater in town to catch a Broadway show, opera, or other culture event. And right across from Keller Auditorium is Keller Fountain (aka Ira's Fountain), one of the coolest little spots in this whole city.

If you look up 'urban serenity' in the dictionary, you find this picture.

I'll spare you the history lesson about the fountain - go here if you'd like to know more about it.

I love this fountain and the way it fits seamlessly in the urban community. I often get lunch from a teriyaki food cart that sets up shop in the park for a few hours each weekday; sitting down to eat, it always feels like a community gathering. If you go up a sidewalk on either side of the fountain, you'll see there's a nice park space where the fountain water is pumped into creeks that run under the sidewalks. It's a really cool effect. The way the park is set up, you can only see the actual fountains from the front end - anywhere else and it just looks like a typical park. Not to mention that the architecture is stunning...right down to the dedication plate:

But you see, there's one problem with the fountains. I took the above pics at 6:30 this morning. Because if you go there at any other time, it looks like this:

On an average summer afternoon, there are at least 100 people hangin' out at Ira's. I didn't dare take a closer picture of the park, because there are just too many bikini-clad ladies, pot-smokin' hippies, beer cans, guitar-pickin' folk-song writers, panhandlers, and unsupervised kids. It's a messy throng of humanity. And what's with that guy reading a book on that friggin' ledge!!! It's a 25-foot drop! "Don't jump bro, there are people who can help! I've got a prozac... right... here!"

All of this despite a warning at every park entrance that the fountain is NOT intended for wading. Oops. I guess the city decided they couldn't keep the crowds out, so they chlorinate the water instead.

Well, at least some people still view the hippie crowds as art:

Sketch by Jason Das from Urban Sketches

p.s. A few weeks ago, someone dumped a whole gallon of Dove soap in the fountain. As humorous and juvenile as that is (not to mention shutting off the fountain for a day) it was actually quite pretty seeing bubbles EVERYWHERE. Kind of Willy Wonka-ish.

The Greatest Song In the World. Tribute.

2010-07-10T08:29:00.000-07:00

IIIIIIII stepped on the bathroom scale, what did it say?

15 POUNDS DOWN AND NO LONGER OBESE!

Biking has brought me such a nice surprise,

15 POUNDS DOWN AND NO LONGER OBESE!

Eating vegitarian is a treat,

The pounds fly off when you eat no meat.

I'm still short of my goal, but it's good to be...

15 POUNDS DOWN AND NO LONGER OBESE!

All of a sudden, I feel like popping some popcorn...or sniffing apricot blossoms.

Washington Pyros

2010-07-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

I was invited to a 4th of July bash at my coworker's house across the Columbia in Vancouver last weekend. The sole reason he was having a party at his place is because it's the first time he's ever lived in a state that allows every type of firework...except bottle rockets because little boys are stupid sometimes.

Most dinner party hosts ask you to bring a food item. Not Steve-o; he asked us instead to buy some fireworks that had the warning "shoots flaming balls". Oh, my little pyro heart was ecstatic.

We got sparklers out of the way for the kiddies and then we got to the lighter fare. First were ground flowers...ground flowers on crack. Apparently in WA, they attach them to propellers. So you light it, watch it zoom up a good 50 feet in the air and hear it explode as the propeller floats back down. Next up were little 2-inch rockets that went far higher than we expected - somewhere around 75 feet. They shot so far up that it was hard to see it's trajectory. We did see one fly way over their house and into the backyard. Then we broke out the Roman Candles. I've always liked the candles.

Lastly, we busted out...{insert a reverent pause}...the MORTARS!!!

Back in Wisconsin, we had a great party a few years ago where the star of the show was a package of 1-inch mortars. Those make a nice boom, shoot up 20 feet and explode in a nice flower. We had a few this year, but they were far from the star...because we had...4" mortars!

After lighting the first one, we were all a little shell-shocked. It was crazy loud, shot up at least 50 feet, and made a huge flower; none of us had every lit anything that large before. And to think that we had 24 of them in many different colors and varieties! I had no idea that mortars that large were even available for the Average Joe. There were some neighbors who had even larger fireworks, so who knows how large they get. I tell ya though...Vancouver sure is a loud place on the 4th of July...imagine every household launching a city-wide display of fireworks.

The video isn't exceptional, but I knew that Cyn wouldn't believe me about the fireworks unless I had proof...

Scans

2010-06-20T19:53:00.000-07:00

Whenever I scan a picture, like the pic of Jordan in the previous post, it feels like I have a billion more things that I should scan. So I get scanner happy and make digital copies of everything. Here are two pictures I scanned this week that I'd like to share:

One of the many perks of being married to The Lovely Cynthia (TLC) is the many fun drawings she'll produce. She loves arts and crafts to such a degree that I know whenever a holiday rolls around, I can expect a special treat - a homemade card. Here's the front cover of today's Father's Day card that TLC drew.

The picture isn't cropped...it's designed to look like they're peering over the card. I love it. Even though they weren't here today, the card brought a smile to my face. The inside was cute too, with a nice drawing by Jordan of the two of us playing at the park. In case you're curious about the hats...

These are (from left) Carter's, TLC's, and Jordan's hats of choice.

On to the next scan!

Back in her SUU days, one of TLC's classmates drew this caricature of her during a Marketing Club competition trip. I have no idea who the artist is, but I love this guy's work. This is one of the best caricatures I've ever seen. If someone were to ask me what TLC was like back when we were dating, I'd hand them this picture. I can't help but smile when I see it, and it's been in a frame on our nightstand for 8 years now.

Oh, and Cynthia insists to this day that the guy who drew it wasn't flirting with her. Pfft.

End of School

2010-06-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

When Jordan first saw this school picture he said (with much shock) "I did not take that picture! I was INSIDE a building when they took our pictures!"

Jordan finished Kindergarten today and eagerly awaits the first grade. Now that school is over, the vacations start! Cynthia started the vacation season minutes after the final school bell rang; she and the boys are now driving to Utah for a family reunion and then a month-long (possibly?) stay in Hurricane.

I will be working and studying during the next month. Where's the equality?!!!

In addition to Jordan switching back to full-time in the fall, Carter will also start half-day preschool. It feels like we'll be empty-nesters before we know it.