David and Shelena, Part 4: Zealotmobile

I've saved the best "David and Shelena" entry for last.

I feel sorry for people who live in Milwaukee and don't work downtown. They're missing out on one of the most unique experiences this city has to offer.

Imagine yourself, waiting on Wisconsin Ave for your evening commute bus to come. It's been a long day and you're lost in your thoughts. You consider running into Starbucks for a Caramel Apple Spice cider when you hear the faint sounds of a tinny PA system. You try to make out the words, but it's impossible. Just muffled voices screaming...err...preaching something. Probably the end of the world, damnation, repentance, etc. You look around for the source of the sound and see this vehicle coming up on you.

"Oh geez" you say to yourself, "it's the Zealotmobile!" Actually, I have no idea what other people call this...this...artwork. I'm looking for a better name myself.

David and Shelena were joining Cyn and me for lunch at Safe House when we got stuck behind the super-slow Zealotmobile. And I couldn't be happier about it. The Zealotmobile is quintessential Milwaukee and any trip to see us would have been incomplete without a viewing of it.

People have an odd reaction to this car. We've all seen it dozens of times, but not regularly enough that it annoys us. You just kind of smile about it all and move on. But if you really take time to read some of the signs on the behemoth of trash, you can become somewhat outraged.

I have no idea why this guy thinks he's saving souls with such inflammatory messages as (spelling preserved):

• HEART ATTACKS AN STROKES R GODS REVEGE
• The 2nd Great Whore The Lutherans
• Blame The Moslum N The Jew B-Cause They Both Hate U Christians
• I'm Trying Save Your Soul A#&*$@! (although he has blacked out the cuss recently)
• Earth: The Insane Asylum 4 The Universe

And there are some that are far worse that I won't be writing down. I'll leave it as an exercise for you to find them. :)


Hang on...now that I think of it, the Zealotmobile's precariously placed tower of messages really reminds of something from my childhood...

"The Trash Heap, nyuuuhhh!"