Friday, January 27, 2012

I'm Not Crying.

So, the cat is out of the bag...we've been house hunting. Don't get too excited though, because I really have no idea if this means we'll be able to buy a house. There are just too many variables still unsettled to know for sure. However, this is the first time we've EVER looked at houses, so things must be moving in the right direction.

Which brings me to "The One". We found the purrrrfect house. It's close to our current apartment, great schools, 4 bedrooms, massive backyard, extremely good condition, lots of curb appeal, beautiful, well-lit, great value, and on and on and on...

Only one problem. It already has an offer that looks like it will go through. So the perfect house for our family? Gone.

Sure, I could be bitter and start crying about it, but I'm too smart for that. Instead I have a plan:
  1. Rent a house close to "The One" to run covert operations listed below.
  2. Toilet paper the house every other weekend.
  3. Spread honey all over the porch every Monday.
  4. Snake Pit Tuesday.
  5. Poison the hedges on Wednesday.
  6. If they install security cameras, cut the electricity.
  7. Buy snails. LOTS of snails.
  8. Run...
  9. Fast.
If my plan goes as anticipated, we'll be making an offer to the disgruntled owners any day.

That's right, I'm not crying about it...


In case you've never heard of Flight of the Conchords, here are a couple more of our favorites:

1 comment:

  1. Hilarious. Hopefully you find the other perfect house. Or the sale falls through.